Love and Loss

14

Before long we were at the door to my apartment. My shaking hand put the key in the door to unlock it.

"Hey if you wanna be alone right now I understand." Bakuguo said to me.

"No, please stay awhile if you can?" I looked to him. I saw pity on his face. I probably looked a mess. He signed before nodding his head.

"No it's fine. I can stay."

I opened the door finally. We both walked in. I took a seat on the couch while Bakuguo took off his huge arm grenade things. He offered to make me some hot chocolate. I excepted his offer.

There wasn't much said between us while he made the drink. I grabbed a blanket that was next to me, and wrapped it around myself. After not too long, Bakuguo came into the living room holding two mugs. He handed me one then sat in a chair close to the couch.

There was a long stretch of silence while we sipped on our drinks. It felt very uncomfortable and awkward, but I felt if I talked I would probably break down.

"Hey." Bakuguo finally spoke up. I looked over to him. "Are you okay?" He asked. He seemed genuinely concerned. I set my have empty mug down, then he did the same.

I opened my mouth to talk, but no words would come out. I eventually gave in. I turned to look Bakuguo in the eye. My bottom lip started to quiver, and my eyes became glossy.

Bakuguo quickly stood up and pulled me into a hug. The second our bodies made contact I lost it. I started weeping out loudly. Bakuguo just sat hugging me and rubbing my back.

"Why?! Why did this all have to happen to me!? What did I ever do to deserve this?!" I finally asked out all the questions I'd kept to myself for so long.

"I know it's not fair. You don't deserve any of this." Bakuguo tried his best to comfort me. I really appreciated him being here for me.

"I'm so sorry Bakuguo. I keep pulling you into all my messes."

"Please don't apologize. This was always my choice to help you, and I would help you a million more times if I had to, for Todoroki."

Bakuguo's words really helped sooth me. Something, I'm not sure what. But something in him reminded me of Shoto. Maybe it's because they use to be friends.

"I miss him Bakuguo. I miss him so much. Everything in my life has been so much harder ever since I lost him. I can't keep doing this without him!"

I was probably saying too much, but I really didn't care. I knew Bakuguo would listen and hear me out. Suddenly I felt Bakuguo arms leave my back, and his hands move to my shoulders. He lowered himself down slightly to by at my eye level.

"Yes you can y/n. I know this has all been extremely tough for you. I probably only feel a tiny amount of pain you feel, but you have to keep going. That's what Todoroki would want." Bakuguo said. His hands moved from my shoulders to my face.

His thumbs wiped the tears from my cheeks. Somehow through all the emotions, I was able to form a smile. Thought it was small, it was also genuine. I placed my hand over the top of his on my face.

"Your right. Thank you again Bakuguo. For everything." I said with a small laugh. In that moment something came over me. A small voice in the back of my head. It was telling me to kiss him. I grew shocked by this voice, but didn't let it be seen by Bakuguo.

Why would I think that? My heart still belongs to Shoto, and this is his old best friend. I could never.

I quickly pushed the bad thoughts to the back of my mind and forgot about the whole subject. As I didn't want to ruin this warming moment.

"So, do you want to talk about what happened?" Bakuguo asked.

I told him the whole story. From me going out to get groceries, to me hanging off the edge of a building.

"That damn Dabi! I swear some day I'll kill him!" Bakuguo seemed very angry. I just sat there waiting for him to cool down before I spoke again.

"There is something else." I said. This caught Bakuguo's attention. He went from mad to curious as he looked to me.

"Dabi knows who I am." I said blankly. This made Bakuguo go into shock, just like I did. He soon stood up and started walking around.

"What? How? There's no way he'd know you." Bakuguo said worryingly.

"I'm not sure. As he hung me off the edge of the building, he asked if I knew Shoto. Then he asked if I was his girlfriend."

Dabi's words still ran through my head. I remembered it all so clearly. The way he smirked evilly. The deep raspiness of him voice. Those eyes full of joy and evil as he let go of my neck, hoping to drop me to my death.

A chill went up my spine. I also knew that Dabi would probably haunt my dreams now. That alone made me want to cry again, but I pushed it back.

"Shit." Bakuguo cursed under his breathe. He almost seemed more worried about this then I did.

"Hey Bakuguo it's okay. I'm sure he'd just seen me in the news. Sometimes people would take pictures of me and Shoto when we were out. I doubt it's anything to worry about."

"Yeah your probably right, but I can't help but worry. Something feels very off."

"I think you worry too much." I said with a laugh.

"What was that?!" Bakuguo said trying to act mad. That just made us both laugh. The mood had lighten quite a bit, and I was feeling much better. The day was starting to loose it light before we knew it. Before long Bakuguo was gathering his stuff, getting ready to leave.

"Hey Bakuguo by the way. Can I buy you dinner tomorrow? It's the least I can do for you helping me so much."

"Oh really you don't have to do that. It's just my job." He said.

"Pleaseeeee. I really appreciate all you've done for me. Please let me pay you back." I looked at him with the sad begging eyes. He eventually sighed.

"Fine, but just this once."

My eyes lit up and I smiled.

"Yes! Thank you!" I shouted.

"So tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yes. How about we meet here tomorrow at around 6:00?" I asked.

"Works for me." He said. With that we exchanged goodbyes and I thanked him one last time. Soon after he left. Leaving me feeling much better, and very excited for tomorrow.

What is this feeling I alway get around him?