Predestination (운명)

제 20 회

First POV

We exited the train, the old woman who woke us earlier waving us goodbye. We both gave her a smile but we weren't sure if she caught on that they weren't quite genuine.

"After visiting your mom, we should go to a doctor or therapist or something," Taehyung suggested, a shaky smile forming on his face.

I shoved my hands loosely into my pocket from confusion.

"Why should we go there?"

He threw his head back and rotated it around to relieve the stress that he was feeling in his neck. At some points in the train, his head was not in a very comfortable position. "I think we need to talk to someone about what's going on with us. Someone who is paid and obligated to keep our secret."

I wasn't quite buying what he was saying.

He shouldn't be so casual when he was communicating such things as us going to see a therapist.

"Is there something wrong with that?" He asked, looking at me after I gave him no response.

I know I had been through a lot in such a short amount of time. Basically everybody who was close to me betrayed me in some sort of way. All I had was my mom and Taehyung. I wasn't sure if I could even trust a therapist. I know that they were obligated to keep our conversations confidential, but it was still scary to think that somebody who has nothing to do with these problems as all the insight on it. Besides, my family was so infamous here. We were all over the news and people were doing nothing but giving me pitiful glances. Even Taehyung seemed to look and talk to me like I was a piece of broken glass.

Taehyung suddenly softly grabbed my hand and grasped it tightly. I looked up at him to see him warmly smiling back at me. "We don't have to go if you don't feel comfortable. I just thought that maybe we could get some anxiety-relieving meds or something. It'll help you feel better."

I raised an eyebrow at him, a small smile forming on my lips. "Are you proposing we do drugs together?" I asked, in a sort of hushed tone. His eyes widened and his face became really pale. He suddenly stopped us in our tracks and looked at me with an innocent look on his face.

"N-No! That's not what I meant. For fuck's sake..." He murmured nervously, chuckling in between his words. "I just wanted to help you relax. If you continue being so stressed, you're gonna get gray hairs faster."

I couldn't help but laugh at his words as we began walking again. His hands were so big. My hand felt like it drowned in his, but at the same time, I felt secure that his hand was holding mine. "Thanks for worrying, but I'll make sure not to get gray hairs any time soon."

"Good." Taehyung grinned and ruffled my hair with his other hand. "So what is your decision?" He calmly waited for my response and I began thinking too. What Taehyung said made sense but I am too scared to trust anyone. "Maybe we could go, but I don't wanna tell them everything, just bits here and there that is enough proof to show that I am not alright."

"Yeah right." He agreed and we got into a cab. Both of us wore masks for obvious reasons. I could see my face displayed on the billboards of news peeps. Everyone wanted to know what's going on in our family and how I had disappeared without any reason. "Wow, some think I do drugs." I whispered so that the driver won't hear us. I had to be cautious around everyone. "Someday they might even say that you're an alien." He laughed at his own joke as I playfully glared at him.

We decided to drop by the hospital first and he held my hand all the time. I was slowly getting used to the warmth of his long hand. I am afraid that I'd get too much dependent on him. We were waiting for our turn and were seated in the lobby. The hospital brought back sickening memories and I couldn't help but feel uneasy. Taehyung was reading a newspaper so he didn't notice my face getting paler by the second.

I got up from my seat, "Washroom." He nodded at me and continued reading. After following a few signs on the wall, I finally reached the place and slammed the door shut. I couldn't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. My eyes had lost all the shine, happiness from it. It seemed....lifeless. Eye bags due to sleepless nights I had spent crying. My cheekbones were more visible now. Honestly, I just want to die. I am tired of living like this.

Subconsciously, tears streamed down my face and I decided to cry my heart out. It seemed like this routine would continue daily. What did I do wrong that I was betrayed by everyone like this?! What did I do to deserve this?? My knees were wobbly and I was going to fall down.

Out of nowhere, I felt a pair a strong arms wrapping around my waist and help me stand in my position, "It's okay, I am here now." He whispered into my ear and I instantly recognized his voice. He rested his chin on my shoulder, "Thankfully, I wanted to pee, so I could save you." Both of us knew that he was lying but I let it slide. I could feel my breathing come back to normal. My back was completely in contact with his chest and I couldn't help but blush at the close contact. I could feel his hot breaths near my ear and I felt the blood flowing in my cheeks. Slowly, I tried to see my reflection, and indeed, I was right.

It seemed like we were a couple, the close proximity of our bodies seemed like it. His face was really close to mine and his eyes were on me. I bit my lip in nervousness and he chuckled, "Are you shy now baby?" He placed a gentle but soothing kiss on my temple. Baby, it was something Jimin used to call me but it feels different from Taehyung's mouth. Wait, do I like Taehyung in a romantic way? Maybe yes. He was the only one who was around me for past few months and it's probably human instinct to fall for him. Or is it, perhaps, more than that?

Gaining some confidence, I turned my body, now completely facing him. This time, he was the one who was flustered. "Are you shy now, baby?" I leaned closer to him, our lips almost touching. Had I never noticed his pink lips? They looked way to kissable. I stared at his lips before shifting my gaze to his eyes and I fell in those dark orbs. Maybe it was the heat of the moment or my discovery of my feelings towards Taehyung or my unstable mindset. I just, did not care and placed my lips on his.

A/n: I am alive :D

-Summer