A Thousand Moments

Chapter 40- Without You

Trigger Warning

Alanna Sky Bauer

"Day 15 Astrid" I uttered as I took my guitar out yet again to sing her another song

"Today, I'm singing Everglow for you" I continued while preparing myself to sing

"I love you.. always" I briefly smiled before strumming my guitar which released a beautiful rhythm

🎶 "Oh they say people come
Say people go
This particular diamond was extra special"

You arrived faster as you went but in the brief moment of time you were here... with me, us you've given us a lot to remember, a lot to miss, a lot to lose. You're more precious than any diamond on earth and to hold you close once again would be my wish on every shooting star, and every dandelion.

🎶 "And though you might be gone
And the world may not know
Still I see you celestial"

The world may not know that you're gone and life still moves forward but it would never be the same as it was when you were here. Though the flowers bloom for me they're missing their beauty, the sun shines yet I feel terribly cold, the wind sings and yet it's a melancholy tune.

I sang as tears roll down my cheeks. She's gone and all I hear and all I see are the despondent sides of this absurd world

🎶 "So how come things move on
How come cars don't slow
When it feels like the end of my world?
When I should but I can't let you go?"

When I saw you, laying there peacefully, I could've sworn my world ended. It felt as if time stopped for me and yet the world around me goes on... without you. A million times I thought, how could we move on when you're gone? How dare the birds still chirp, and the world still turns?

🎶 "But when I'm cold, cold
When I'm cold, cold
There's a light that you give me
When I'm in shadow
There's a feeling you give me, an everglow"

When everything's overwhelming, when the pain is too much, I think of you, of all the times you told me to live and then once again I'm saved, saved by you even though you're gone. You were my light and I guess you still are but how long will this fire burn? How long will your light continue to shine on me?

I finished my song and bid my goodbye to her grave. I drove home and to my surprise there was a strange car parked outside our home. I stepped out of my car and walked to our door, I was startled to see Astrid's mom waiting.

"Ms. Flores, what are you doing here?" I asked, curiosity evident in me

"I came to talk to y-you" she stammered on her words

"Sure, come in" I led her inside

"This won't take long, I promise" she uttered, her eyes starting to water

"I wanted to know i-if there was anything Astrid said to you about me and her dad b-before..." she paused and took a deep breath

"Before she died" she continues droplets of tears falling from her eyes

"She asked me to take care of you guys" I replied without holding back