The Disgraced Avenger *

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Pain was a watered definition to describe agony.

There were many different types of pain; pain cause by wound or injury, pain caused by loss or grief, pain caused by regret or revenge. Sometimes the pain is small, a cut or bruise that will fade away. Sometimes it is forever; an amputation, something that forever leaves a scar upon the skin. Sometimes it's an experience that one will never forget.

And that's where my pain was.

I awoke to Castor's screams, or my own, I was well aware that I hadn't been out for long but it seemed like she'd taken over. I could tell by the thin buzz in my skull and tiring ache that overcame me. We were in some kind of hospital, probably still on the helicarrier. Her screams coiled in the shrill air, sending tortured shrills down my spine.

Castor was strapped down, still from the execution. Flooring around us had cracked, doctors and the like, rushed back and forth. A barrier of Tesseract energy surrounded us in a hemisphere shape. Correction, Tesseract energy was pushing against it, pulling inwards, giving the barrier shape.

What was remaining of the Avengers pushed their way in but were quickly shooed away by the doctors. I was Bruce's frantic expression, worry, for me, for us, for everyone else. This was my Hulk and I may very well tear the ship apart gladly.

"We're in the air!" I heard the cry, "evac has begun."

I saw Fury, looking in his eye, I saw his brown glint of grit and blood. A testament to the choices he'd had to make. However, what I saw was loud and clear, fear, fear that we would destroy and kill hundreds of valuable agents.

We've killed thousands of innocents before, Castor's voice filled my head. A memory.

We were in the mental space where we communicated in times of boredom. My body was back at Loki's house, curled upon the couch, immobilised by disgust for herself.

The blood is flowing again, I whispered back, they were innocent.

Stop feeding me that bullshit, she snapped back, I'm the one that killed them.

You and I are the same! I cried back at her, whatever body count is on your record, is also mine, there is no separating us. There is no redemption for us, we will never be clean of our crimes. There is no punishment that we could serve that we would be free once again.

The memory ended abruptly as Castor cried out again, straining inwards like she was trying to protect her stomach.

We're a grenade, I thought darkly, and sometime we're going to explode.

Promptly, I regained control and managed to unbuckle that straps that held me down. Pain shot through my head like bullets, Fury's one eye of fear clear and shining in my mind. I released Castor and she fell into my arms. She was temporarily limp, I dodged another spasm from the pain.

"Come on sis, we're going somewhere else," I whispered, shifting her up bridal-style. Her hair clung to her forehead and the shine of sweat was clear on her forehead. But there wasn't heat in my arms but rather, power, which was weird because heat was basically an equivalent for energy but in my arms, I felt pure energy.

I walked out of the room, passing the Avengers and ignoring the onslaught of questions and Fury's orders. They followed behind, but none of them seemed to be able to touch me or Castor. I strode along, past hallways and doors, tracing a familiar pattern, one that I'd played out for some time.

"Whats are you doing?" She croaked, a tear made its way down her cheek.

"We need to minimalise the casualties," I whispered.

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