"Hey y/n!"
Spencer had a huge smile on his face as he walked up to you. His voice was cheery, like usual.
"Wanna go out? Do something to get our minds off this case?" He was sweet. He always checked up on you after cases. But you wanted nothing to do with him right now. The thought of going out right now, after what happened, you just couldn't.
You sit still and answer his question a minute later.
"No thanks Spencer, I'm just going to go home."
He furrowed his eyebrows. You never called him Spencer, it was always Spence. You used "Spencer" when you were serious. He caught on to that.
After your recent kidnapping, you didn't want to go out. You were scared of everyone that passed by, thinking they would take you. The unsub had taken you in a public place and no one heard your muffled screams. He tortured you and you almost forgot who you were. You constantly had to remind yourself who you were. It took the team 5 excruciatingly long days to find you. You weren't the same ever since your return. That was 3 weeks ago.
You just wanted to lay in bed and forget. Forget everything that happened. So before Spencer could offer you a ride, you grabbed your stuff and ran out of the BAU.
Back at your apartment, you checked every room with your hand on your gun before you settled in. This was the new normal you adapted to after the kidnapping. The team offered you to stay at their place for awhile but you declined each time, claiming you were okay. It annoyed you most of the time but they just loved you.
You grabbed a bottle of wine and sat on your couch facing the blank tv screen, with your gun on the coffee table. Most nights after you wrapped up a case this was what you did. Drink all night and go to work the next day. You didn't face the situation head on and tried to drink it away. The alcohol helped numb your pain.
After you got halfway through the bottle you heard a loud knock on the front door. You jumped and instinctively reached for your gun. You slowly crept up to your door as the knocking continued.
You look through the hole and see it's Spencer. Ugh what did he want. You open the door and hide your gun behind your back.
"Spencer it's late, why are you here? I thought you were going out?" You were a little annoyed from his presence but before you could get rid of him he stepped in. After all, he was just a friend checking in.
He saw the half empty bottle of wine on the table and turned toward you. He also saw you clutching onto your gun behind your back and he looked up to your eyes.
"Is this what you've been doing y/n?" His voice raised ever so lightly. "Drinking and walking around with your gun?"
He didn't even let you speak.
"Why didn't you tell us you don't feel safe. You shouldn't be living like this y/n, in constant fear." His gentle and caring tone was coming back.
You finally decided to open up.
"Spence... how can I feel safe? When anything can happen at anytime?" Your eyes were puffy and red.
"You can't think like that." He grabbed the wine and put it away.
"You won't need this either." He took your gun and put it in a nightstand. Now you wanted nothing to do with him.
"Spence..." He cut you off.
"No I'm staying here. As long as you need to feel safe again." It was a sweet gesture but you didn't want him to worry. You kept darting your eyes to where you kept your wine, wanting just one more sip. Before you spoke again he said,
"I'm fine with staying. I want to make sure you're okay. So does everyone at the BAU, we're all worried about you."
He started to make a bed out of the couch. Grabbing a pillow and a blanket that barely covered his body. Your blankets for your 5'3 self but not his 6'1 body.
You really didn't want to deal with this so you just went to your bedroom.
The alcohol helped knock you out and you fell asleep almost instantly.
Sometime during the night, you started screaming in your sleep. A nightmare. You had one almost every night.
"Let me go! Please stop!" You were having flashbacks to the night of the kidnapping and torture.
Your screams had woken up Spencer. He jumped up and looked towards your room. He ran up to you and tried to wake you up. His hands on your shoulders as he lightly shook you. You finally woke up and your eyes quickly searched the room, landing on Spencer's. His eyes sparkled.
"How long have you been having nightmares?"
Before you could even answer you started sobbing. He pulled you in. Your head rested on his chest and you cried louder. His head was on your neck and he also started to tear up. The thought of one of his friends going through this alone broke him.
After you pulled away he got into your bed. You wanted to tell him to go away but it felt nice having someone there. You moved closer to him, laying on his chest. He didn't seem to mind so why not. His warmth made you feel safe.
He wrapped his arms around you and rested his head on yours. He held you tightly and slowly stroked your hair, making sure you fell asleep first.
You woke up around 10am and you were still on him. You looked up and saw he was staring at you.
You knew you wouldn't be able to avoid this conversation so you started.
"Spence I need help..." Your voice was groggy and when the words came out it cracked. You didn't want to ask for help. You thought you were weak, admitting defeat. But you weren't.
"You're strong y/n." It was like he read your mind. "You survived. Now comes the healing. You asked for help, that's a good start. I'll help you."
You started to cry again. You thought it was so low asking for help.
He left your room so you could get dressed and he called the team. He told them how you were going to take some time off and get help. He also requested to be off as well, to help you adjust. Hotch agreed.
You walked out of your room wearing black jeans, a white top, and a blazer. It looked like you were going to work but those were the only clothes you had. You eyed the nightstand where your gun was kept and he saw that.
"You won't need that." He then offered you his hand and lead you to his car.
He pulled up to the therapists office and you looked out the window. He grabbed your hand, giving it a small squeeze.
"I brought you here but it's your decision to go in. I'd suggest you go in but it's all up to you."
You met his eyes. He tried to hide them but they were sad. You turn back towards the place and then back at him.
"Thank you Spence." He let go of your hand and you walked up to the building.
He watched you enter and drove off once you got inside.
