The Austin Arrangement

CHAPTER 4:A DAY OF SORROW AND DISPARE

Standing at my Mother's grave holding a bouquet of Daffodils in my hand,I felt the unbearable sadness looking back at the crazy night that took her from us.
I never would have thought that at such a young age,Finley and I would be without parents to care for us.
We weren't little kids that needed our Mom and Dad to tuck us in at night,but we still needed them all the same.

I wish things were different!!

I wish we knew who did this to us,who ruined our family by running that stop sign.
The person responsible for this is a coward and a killer,who needs to own up to their actions.

"Life is cruel."I muttered,as I placed the Daffodils down on my Mother's grave.

"Our parents wouldn't want you to hold on to that anger,Ness.
It's been a year,we need to move forward and try to be happy."

My brother is a better person than I am,maybe that's because he doesn't know the full extent of someone's actions.
Yes that drunk driver tore our family apart,but the aftermath of that is the constant struggle that resulted in my marriage to the Devil himself.

I wanted someone to pay,Just like we have been since the accident..And just like I will be for the next 359 days.
Don't get my wrong,I'm grateful for Tom's offer and I know that Finley's career would be gone if it wasn't that I didn't accept..But every silver lining has a cloud..
That big dark cloud is my Husband.

The September weather was here and the rain started to pour,I sniffled back tears as I stood in my soaking wet trench coat. My hair clung to my bare completion whilst my eyes were fixated on the swirling gold lettering on my Mother's headstone.

"We should get going,Ness."

I wanted to tell him..("No,Not yet..You go on without me.")But I know my brother,I know he won't leave without me no matter what I say.

I turned to my brother and smiled lightly,a front to show I was okay and he didn't have to worry."Sure,Let's get going."

Finley and I walked through the cemetery soaked to the skin,the sky above us was Grey and cloudy.
It was fitting for the occasion that was today,a day of sorrow and despair.
A day full of emotions and none of them were good ones.

"I have to get back to campus,I have a late make up class this evening that I need to prepare for."

I glanced over at my brother as he walked alongside me."You're not coming?"

"I can't..I'm sorry. But I'll go during the week when I get a break from classes,I promise."

I leaned in and gave my brother a hug."It's okay,I'll see you Sunday the usual place.
Don't be late this time."

He chuckled,pulling back from my embrace."I won't. See you,Ness."

I waved my brother off and walked towards the waiting car. It was good of Tom to do this for me,to give me the support that I needed despite not knowing me all that well.
I slipped into the passengers seat and closed the car door.

Tom looked over at me."Are you okay, Darling?"

"I'm fine."I sighed."I keep thinking that it's going to get easier but it never does. It still hurts just as much as it did a year ago."

"You will always feel that Loss for them,you'll learn to make room for the other emotions too.
They will always be with you..No matter what."

I looked over and smiled lightly."Thank you,Tom.I needed that."

"You're Welcome,Darling."He pulled out of our parking space.
"So I take it you haven't told my son where you are today?"

I shook my head."No,I'm sure he's busy. I don't want to distract him when he's working.
Honestly I'd rather keep this between us,If that's okay?"