BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Sep 27 - Seokjin (I Found The Map Of My Soul)

[Places: Courtroom, his father's study room a.k.a den or inner room]

Starting with my abeoji, the people involved with the redevelopment plan and the illegal dealings were locked up behind bars one by one. My abeoji refused any visitation. The court-appointed lawyer looked helpless as he told us that my abeoji admitted to all charges. My abeoji had not chosen his own lawyer.

The police were still after Junho samcheon, who had fled after starting the fire at the container, but they had no clues as to his whereabouts. As he was still a fugitive, I still had to deal with my emotions.

The investigation continued, and I had numerous interview requests from major newspapers. I even had calls from broadcasting company producers. I refused everything. Wherever I went now, school or downtown, I felt people's glare, which I knew would happen.

I wanted to return everything to its place, but now I felt as if I had arrived somewhere faraway. Was this what I wanted? If I were to go back, would I make the same choice? If I didn't jump in to save Namjoon, or ask Taehyung for help, or act so coldly toward Hoseok, then this would not happened?

I shook my head almost out of habit. Not in denial. It meant I had no way of knowing now. If I had made a different decision, the future would've been changed.

Perhaps there could've been a better future waiting for me. But I had no way of knowing now. I did my best and I wanted to believe that the future now was the best one possible.

At today's court first hearing, my abeoji admitted to all of charges and gave up his right to defend himself. As he was walking out of the courtroom, he turned and looked at me. He looked peaceful and calm, a look that I have never seen before. And for a fleeting moment, there was a sense of lightheartedness in his expression for the first time. But I knew, that was my abeoji's true face.

When I came home, I ran to the inner room. I walked in through the half open door. Abeoji's notebook from his high school days was on the desk. And on the last page, he had written: I found the map of my soul. Everything ends here and now.