BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Aug 11 - Hoseok (He Tried To Save Us Endlessly)

[Place: Container town]

Seokjin hyung texted us to meet at Namjoon's container. I left the burger joint and quickened my steps. It was past ten, but we were still in the middle of summer. The city was suffering in air that would not cool down.

As the doctor took the cast off, he had warned me not to exert my leg. But I was in a hurry. What did Seokjin hyung want to talk us about? We would be meeting for the first time since the day in the classroom. Did he have something on the redevelopment plan? Would he explain what had happened to him?

I sent a separate text to Jungkook, but he didn't reply. When I called him, he took his sweet time answering. He must've been in a PC room, for it was very noisy.

"Seokjin hyung must have something to tell us, Jungkook-ah." I told him.

(A/N: moments later.)

"You are the last."

We chided Jungkook for being the last one to arrive. We were all in the container.

"Isn't it hot?"

When someone said that, we all came out and sat around behind the sofa. The sofa, which had repeatedly gotten wet and frozen, was pretty crushed. When Taehyung jumped on it, the dust flew up and the container fabric ripped. Yoongi hyung took a big step back. All seven of us were together, but we weren't as rowdy as before.

"Maybe we should get a campfire going?"

When Taehyung said that, Namjoon, who was used to his jokes, replied, "It's the middle of summer, Taehyung-ah."

Seokjin hyung was sitting quietly. He looked serious, but he didn't seem as strange or emotionless as he had been before. Actually, he looked tired.

"What? Yoongi hyung got expelled because of you? You were the principal's snitch?" I asked him, surprised. Seokjin hyung started telling us what had happened back in high school. "What are you saying exactly?" When I pressed on, Namjoon grabbed me and motioned me to stop.

Seokjin hyung continued. About his family, him growing up in America, and the first day he had met the principal after coming back to Songju. No one spoke for a while. Sweat ran down our spines, but no one even thought about fanning himself to cool down.

I looked at Yoongi hyung. The very person whom Seokjin hyung's story was about. I didn't know what he was thinking because he kept his head low. Two years had passed since then. If he hadn't been expelled, would thing have turned out differently for him?

Finally, Yoongi hyung opened his mouth. "It's all in the past, but it would've been better if you had told me this back then."

Seokjin hyung said he was sorry, and Yoongi hyung simply nodded. Seokjin hyung's confession seemed like closure to what had happened to Yoongi hyung, but not really. It had happened in the past, but because of it, things in the present had changed. And it was the same for Yoongi hyung and Seokjin hyung. Just saying it was okay did not make it okay. They probably had to mull it over for many more hours and arrive at a certain conclusion, or it would stay with them forever.

"Tomorrow, I plan to tell people everything about the redevelopment plan." Seokjin hyung said while taking a bunch of papers out of his bag. "The agreement with the police overlooking the violence during the demolition was just the tip of the iceberg. The corruption among the powerholders of Songju and my abeoji is beyond anyone's imagination," he told us in a slow voice. "I think my coming forward will take care of many things, but I am not sure how things will unfold." After looking at me and then Namjoon, hyung said, "What I am about to tell you now is much more complicated and strange. I am not sure you'll believe it. It'll be hard to believe. But Yoongi was right. Now is the time I should tell you."

Seokjin hyung took a deep breath and started telling us the story: finding out the future misfortunes of everyone after he came back from America, the cat that he met at the beach, the contract to turn back time, and the things he had experienced over and over again since then. The map of the soul and the price to pay --- losing his memories.

I didn't know when the sandstorm started to blow. Hyung continued with his story, and like he'd said, it was really hard to believe. Can he really turn back time? Is that possible? He can undo what happened? Jungkook, Yoongi hyung, and Jimin got k*lled? I fell down the stairs and couldn't dance anymore, and Taehyung got locked up in jail? That really happened? Again and again?

I had no idea whether the sandstorm began while Seokjin hyung was talking or not. Maybe it started when he began to tell us his story, or maybe there was no sandstorm. As Seokjin hyung continued with the story, the wind became stronger. We could hardly keep our eyes open with the sandstorm blustering around us, the sofa we were all sitting on, Namjoon's container, and maybe the whole of city. We ended up closing our eyes, shedding tears from the prickly rain of sand.

We could not see with our eyes, but we could feel it. As if we had experienced it ourselves. Something flashing as time began to go back, the sound of a window being shattered, the room with the sunlight pouring in, and what hyung saw as he opened his eyes in his room.

The sound of the flame starting from a lighter and traveling up the stream of gasoline, the building rooftop still under construction, the speed of one free falling into the night scene of Songju, the moment the world turned upside down as the ankle bone was crushed, the sound of suffocation as he was dragged deeper and deeper into water, the azure sky he saw from the court house, the moment he picked up a broken bottle, his unleashed rage as he ran, the blood that couldn't be washed off his hand, the time going back again, something flashing. Seokjin hyung running, the window being shattered again, the calendar pages leafed through, Yoongi hyung, Namjoon, me, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook, again, and another flash. Seokjin hyung standing alone at the beach, the moments of horror continuing endlessly, Seokjin hyung running and running again. A Polaroid picture: the seven of us standing by the beach.

In the sandstorm, I finally understood. What had happened to hyung, the choices he made, his mistakes, and the endless hours he had lived through again and again for us. And the reason he had lost his memories and feelings.

I slowly opened my eyes. It was still midsummer, and I was in Songju. Nothing had changed from the beginning. The air still felt hot, and the sofa felt sandy. A can rolled away behind the container. No one spoke. The sandstorm disappeared without a trace, and the moon hung in the night sky.

I wanted to say I was sorry, and I was grateful, but my lips wouldn't move. No, those words could not begin to express the feelings I had.