Not Alone

Chapter 11

•Trigger Warning: Panic attacks, if you don't feel comfortable, I will postmark as to where the panic attack starts and ends with a summary at the end of the chapter. Enjoy your reading!!•

     Naruto stopped dead in his tracks, and he felt his heart plummet. He looked over at the two kids in front of him and saw their faces. Sasuke's eyes were wide, a scowl evident on his face, Sakura's eyes wide and worried. Naruto slowly turned around and stared at the person who just spoke. The Hokage stood there, with a sorrowful face.

What Naruto didn't know was that this was an experiment requested by the feudal lord. This was to see if Naruto would control himself, although he hated himself every second he played along. Naruto's eyes were wide; no one said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out; he shut his mouth again. Then Kakashi spoke up.

"Now, wait! Why can't he get him back?" Kakashi asked, stepping forwards. He looked at Naruto and saw that he was still processing the information. The Hokage sighed before stepping forwards.

     "I don't have a say in the matter. The feudal lord said it's because Kurama is too reckless and violent towards his care-takers, and he feels as though he shouldn't be allowed back into the village. I'm trying my best to get him back, but I'm afraid it might not work." He said, keeping his eyes on Naruto, who was still wide-eyed and distraught. Sasuke came up behind Naruto and put a hand on his shoulder.

     "You guys can't do that. That's his fox, not the feudal lords, so he has no control over it. Even though it's a ninja dog or fox and is, therefore, a ninja tool. For you guys to take that away is against your own rules. It's protected by the rules of Konoha in itself, which state 'A ninja tool is not to be confiscated if the user of the said tool has not done any harm or broken any rules with said ninja tool,'" Sasuke stated, looking at the Hokage with red eyes and furrowed brows.

     The Hokage stood, stunned, and Naruto looked back at Sasuke with hope in his eyes before looking at the Hokage. Sarutobi sighed and rubbed his temples.

     "Those rules won't apply here because the feudal lord requests it," he said, and he saw tears run down Naruto's cheeks.

     'Naruto, you just keep your composure. Just stay calm, and you'll get Kurama back,' he thought, keeping his eye on the blond-haired boy.

   ⚠️ Panic Attack Starts here ⚠️

     'I can't cry in front of them. I can't. Kurama, please, please let this be a nightmare. Why is it always me? Do they hate me because I'm the nine-tails jinchuriki?

     Is that why. This whole village hates me. I didn't do anything; I don't deserve this. I-I, do I deserve this? The entire town almost got abolished because of the nine-tails; we lost the best Hokage we've ever had because of the Biju I hold inside me. We lost everything because of me.

     Am I a monster like everyone says I am? Is it true?' Naruto sunk to his knees. His eyes flared red and back to blue. He couldn't hear anything; everything was muffled and distant. Then he listened to the whispers of the villagers; at first, they were distant too.

     But they grew louder, and soon they were all he could hear. All Naruto could listen to was the whispers he had grown up trying to block out. The stories Kurama had to help him block out. Naruto could hear his younger self sobbing and screaming that he wasn't a monster. Then he heard himself, his younger self calling himself a monster.

     His breathing became ragged, and his throat felt like it was closing in on him. All of Konoha hated him; he wasn't liked, he isn't wanted. He never was, never will be; he hated himself. He was a monster; he always will be a monster. He was just another pawn.