Withering petals of my hurting heart

Oblivion

I do not know which dimension I am existing in

Must be different than what others are on

It is difficult to express

But I feel all alone.

It looks like I am living in circles

Falling back no matter where I start from

Maybe that is why I couldn't find an end

To all these battles that are raging on

Whether I win or lose

Is not a question I seek an answer for?

For this is not the life I chose

And I am hopeless and distraught

I need these battles to stop

They are draining me out

People might not see it

But I am burning inside out

My mind plays the past

Like a film on television

I couldn't stop the film from playing

But I also couldn't change the channel

I try to close my eyes

In hopes of finding some reprieve

And a laugh slips away from my lips

Thinking "oh how naive"

This isn't something I can control

I am starting to realize

I am going crazy

And I am filled with spite.

What did I do to deserve this torture?

Where did I lack in making myself stronger?

I ask this again and again from my creator

What was it that made you decide?

that I should be the sufferer

Time after time I am knocked down

By my own cruel mind

I am both the beauty and the beast

But it isn't a story that I like

I couldn't overpower my beast

It always escapes my bites

Slowly all fight is leaving me

And I don't think I can survive

What good was it coming to this world?

When the pain was all I got

What good was it living for so long?

When I didn't even live the life, I got

Sometimes it's just the coincidence

To find death at your door

But sometimes it is all planned

And I like the latter more

I'll slip away silently

Resigned to my existence

I'll find a path to tread on

The one on which maybe I was always destined.