Withering petals of my hurting heart

Trying

Walking on the same old roads again

How does it feel when?

Things that broke you before

Leaves you barren again

I try to walk away

From all these thoughts

Of recurring self-hate

But something so consistent

Can't be shattered in a day

I ask myself, a question lame

Why do you even bother to breathe?

When all you are is a waste of space

Why do you stand in front of the mirror?

Just to see your ugly self

Why do you work so hard?

When nothing you ever do is great

Why do you continue smiling?

Even through all the pain

But there is no answer

For I couldn't decipher my reason to stay

While my mind thrums violently

With millions of reasons to leave

Unsettled and chaotic

I am in a dark abyss

Where my heart sits in silence

And my mind plays the game

It spreads like plague

Rotting away my joy

The self-deprecating thoughts

Forever on a mission to destroy

Every single reason to survive

In a world where nothing ever feels right

I paint my skin red

To a point where

The scars on my body

Matches the ones you see when my soul is bare

But it's not enough anymore

To fill this hole

It constantly aches for more

More for pain and more for sorrow

And I am just trying my best

To fulfill the needs

Of this hungry beast

In order to achieve some semblance of peace.