BREAK 2.0 (Kylo Ren Fanfiction)

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Never in my life—even when I survived a ship crash, even when Kylo beat me in training until I passed out, even when I trained with Kylo for four hours straight—have I ever been so sore as I am today. Getting out of bed was painful, getting dressed was painful, and now walking to the training room is painful. The pain isn't the searing hot or even throbbing pain that I have grown accustomed to. Instead, the pain is a dull, never-fading ache in every single muscle in my body that begs to be stretched and massaged. Another ache between my legs accompanies the first ache. However, the latter ache demands nothing less than to do the very thing that made the first ache appear.

Throughout the night, I would wake up with a thousand questions on my mind. What does this mean for Kylo and I? Will it be awkward now? Will we be doing that again?

Those questions are still unresolved, and they continue ricocheting off every wall in my mind, persistently trying to find an answer. Those questions cause my stomach to twist and turn into one of the intricate knots that Kylo has taught me, making me feel as though I could throw up at any second.

What is worse than the questions is what I want the answers to be.

I want to waltz into the training room and have Kylo whisk me into his arms, kiss me passionately, and take me over and over again. I want to build a real relationship with him, one where he tells me his thoughts and his aspirations and asks me for mine. I have no real reason to want that, for he has never given me anything like that before. But now, I feel like things are different. Things have changed and perhaps the deeply hidden feelings that I have developed for Kylo aren't one sided.

Wincing with my every move, I push open the door to the training room, knowing that I am late to today's lesson. Dragging myself from sleep was very, very difficult. I doubt that Kylo even minds, seeing as he knows exactly why I slept in.

Faint, red lines decorate the porcelain skin on Kylo's back, which is the first thing that I see when I enter the room. The sound of metal scraping metal irritates my ears as he stands at the weapons table sharpening a knife.

"You're late."

I stop dead in my tracks, confusion blanketing my mind. The knot in my stomach tightens as the door clicks shut behind me.

"Uh, yeah. I couldn't wake up," I deadpan, trying not to let any vulnerability show through in my voice.

"You know that tardiness is unacceptable." He remains with his back to me, rhythmically sharpening the knife. That knife is sharp enough, asshole.

"Well, I figured since you kept me up all hours of the night with your cock between my—"

My sassy reply is cut off. "Enough!"

Within a second, I am thrown against the door, my head thudding against the metal. A resonating thrum moves throughout my skull and brain at the intensity of it. The Force holds me there by my throat as I see Kylo turn to me with anger on his face.

"Are you stupid?" He yells, closing in on me. His eyes and tone match that of a venomous snake, poised to attack. With his large hand outstretched, the pressure against my throat increases with every slow step that he takes. My eyes must be as wide as they will possibly go because I am both frightened and confused. I struggle to pull oxygen into my lungs; He has never pressed on my throat this hard.

A stark contrast from the man he was last night.

Seething, he stands directly in front of me, his eyes boring into mine. The Force drops the hold on my throat but before I can get a full breath in, Kylo thrusts his hand against my throat, restricting my breathing again.