What Death Can't Touch (A Reggie/Julie and The Phantoms Fanfiction)

Chapter Eleven: You Were Wrong

When we got back to the garage, the boys stayed downstairs and I went up to the loft, sitting with my legs hanging through the railing as I took the letter out of my pocket. I blew out a nervous breath as I ran my fingers over the paper.

I unfolded it and began to read.

Dear Delilah,

I just really need to get this out, because this is something I have felt for years. I haven't told you before because quiet honestly, I think I was just scared to stand in front of you, look into your eyes, and tell you I'm in love with you.

I won't get the chance now, but I still need to get it off my chest. I need to get it out of my system, because it was already eating me alive when you were still here and now that you're not, its driving me crazy, so here it goes. I'm just gonna say everything that I've ever thought or felt and I'm gonna pretend that you're listening. Who knows, maybe in some weird, supernatural way you are.

I love you. Love, not loved, because even if you're not physically in my life anymore, I am always going to love you. I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you in Kindergarten, I have loved you since the day we first became friends and I have only fallen more and more, deeper and deeper in love with you with every day that has gone by because you're perfect. I know that's impossible but you are. To me, you are.

There's the obvious stuff that everyone notices, and that is that you are beautiful. You're beautiful in a way that makes other girls look different to me. Its not that they're not beautiful, I think all girls are beautiful but you're a different kind because you're my kind of beautiful. You leave me breathless. I can't take my eyes off of you, when you walk into a room, I just instantly gravitate towards you and my heart beats so hard it's like one of Alex's drum solos, and suddenly I can't think about anything else but you, and how beautiful you are, and how much I would tell you that if you only knew how much I love you.

Even just your picture...I keep the picture of us from my Cousin's wedding in my wallet and I remember how gorgeous you looked in that yellow dress, and even just the photograph makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack but now it just hurts. It hurts knowing I'll never get to lay my eyes on you in real time ever again. It hurts that I'll never get to see the look in your eyes when you know how I feel, and its excruciating to know that I will never know what's its like to kiss you, or wrap my arms around you in a non-friend way, and I have to live with that every day for the rest of my life.

But its not just the physical stuff that I want with you, its not just that I think you're beautiful physically. You're beautiful in every possible way. You can be the nicest person in the world or the meanest depending on the situation. You're hilarious and sarcastic, you always have a response to everything, and you make me laugh like no one else does. I'm never bored when I'm with you. Don't even get me started on your talent, because you are so incredible and I don't know how Sunset Curve is going to go on without you...I don't know how I am going to go on without you.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for your final moments, I'm sorry about every crappy boyfriend that I watched you fall for and cry over when I should've just told you how I felt or at the very least what I felt you deserved because it wasn't that. You deserve a guy who adores you and would do whatever it takes to give you the world and I could've been that guy if I had only been brave enough to tell you how I feel but I didn't...so I guess I'm not, and that...I think that will be my biggest regret of all.

I'm sorry.

I will always love you.

Reggie