𝐇𝐈𝐌 | tiktok boys (2) EDITING

•not helping•

𝐕𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐱 𝐉𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧.
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*requested*

you aren't helpingme, you'rehurting me, by helping

(edited) 

Saturday 2:39 am
anxiety overtakes Vinnie.

VINNIES POV
I slid down my wall tears streaming out my eyes, another panic attack. "fuck!" I yelled for the 5th time in an hour. Normally this would be a normal Saturday night, but I'm sitting here stressing out over stupid things. Especially TikTok, I'm thankful for gaining fans and stuff but it's starting to feel like a job to me and no longer fun.

I wouldn't be in this spot crying if my best friend Jordan was here but apparently getting a girlfriend means not hanging out with your friends. I let hot tears stream down my face, this was only helping a little. "God Vincent, pull your shit together man," I huffed. Getting up and drying my tears I walk into my bathroom and look in the mirror. "I look horrid," I mumbled and stripped of my clothes, and stepped into the shower.

Letting the water get as hot as possible, it's good pain. After about twenty minutes wallowing in the shower, I get out and dry off, grabbing some shorts and a hoodie. After I'm dressed I walk downstairs into the kitchen. I saw Jordan and Maddy cuddling on the couch, I rolled my eyes and grabbed water out of the fridge. I went back into my room and went on to TikTok. I did the one thing that you really don't want to do as a person in my spot, look at the comment section. 

I mean, you do look at just the top few to reply once and a while, but other than that you don't scroll any deeper. 

"Rail me, daddy"

"Bruh he could hit any day"

"This man is fine af, I'd let him rail me"

All of these comments made me feel uncomfortable. Yeah, I get it's my fault for posting thirst traps but I hate the comments. I started crying again and pulled my hood over my head. I just let the tears run down and lay on my bed lifeless. I guess I was too invested in crying that I didn't even notice my door open.

"Hey Vin.." a voice said, I knew it was Jordan.

 "Please, not now," I sighed. 

"Vin, it's me, I know when you aren't okay," his tone was soft and sweet. I wanted to crawl into his arms and just sob my guts out.  I then feel a rush of anger wash over me. He doesn't get to ignore me, and then show up like he hasn't. 

"Get the fuck out," I whispered.

"Huh?" he said and stepped closer to me.

"I said GET THE FUCK OUT" I yelled and he took a step back from my bed.

"Please, let me help," he said. 

I started laughing, "what the fuck are you laughing at?" he defiantly was pissed off. 

 "You," I said flatly.

" Why?" he asked.

"Because you ignore me for a month, you walk in here one time cause your girlfriend left and you were bored, you see my crying. You think you're making it better. News flash YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT ANY BETTER" I yelled the last part.

"Just do as I said, leave it's for the better,"I lowered my voice. He bent his head down and messed with his fingers.

"I-I'm sorry," he said. 

"Sorry won't cut this shit. Just go,"

"Vinnie," 

"Out," I pointed

———

A week has passed and I haven't seen or heard anything from Jordan. I haven't seen Maddy at all, did they break up? I walk out into the back and see Quinton and Kio cuddling on the white lounge chairs in the back of the grotto-like area. 

"Hey, Vin! have you seen Jordan?" Q asked me.

"Not since last week, I think," I said and sat down on the other chair.

 "I haven't seen him at all, not even for food, and Maddy hasn't come over too" Kio pointed out. I really began to think if I did something to them.

"Hey, I'm gonna see if I can talk to Jordan" I got up and walked away after they gave simple nods and went back to flirting with each other. I walked in front of his door and heard small sniffles. 

"Hey, Jordan can I come in," I asked and got a faint 'yes'. I opened the door and saw Jordan curled up on his bed hugging a teddy bear that I had bought him.

"You okay man? None of us have seen you in forever," I leaned on the door frame. By his looks, he doesn't look good at all.

"M-me and Ma-Maddy broke up, and.." he sobbed.

"And what? why did you two break up." I moved through the messy floor and stood next to his bed.

"B-because I have f-feelings for.." he sat up on the bed and placed a kiss on my lips, oh this is why they broke up. Not because I did anything, but because he finally manned up. 

"I like you to J," I smiled and pulled him into my arms.

"Good or this would have been bad" he laughed and hugged me. We both stayed like that until I noticed he had fallen asleep, I wiggled him out of my arms and went underneath his because bitch I'm bottom, but I act like a top. Then I fell asleep after with my arms around him and his around my body.