Dusk Town

Chapter Fifteen

We're in Dusk Town again. I remembered what Violet told me about the center part of this world. I would like to see the dusk here, I bet it's beautiful.

Now that I am wearing a medieval dress, it's easier to blend in with all the creatures here. I forgot my pajamas but it's the least of my concern now. How many days had passed already? I know I have to accompany these pair for a few more days.

We went to the same pub again. Sebastian bought food so it's just me and Tom in the room. Sebastian seems to avoid me too. Looks like I'm not the only person who felt awkward. He hasn't looked at me or talked to me since yesterday.

"I know what you're thinking right now." Tom blurted out, breaking the ice. "Tell me what happened last night between the two of you when you were missing. Sebastian has kept his mouth shut about it so tell me."

It's useless not to tell Tom. Besides, I don't have to say everything, just the gist of what happened.

"I went to a river near the cave and then he suddenly appeared. I didn't know if he was there before me or if he's following me. I felt creeped out about it. I yelled nasty things to Sebastian but it wasn't really for him. It's just that he was there so I displaced my anger towards him."

"The two of you should talk. I should head out when he comes back."

I can't tell Tom the specifics of what happened. He's right that we need to talk. It's the best especially for me. He made me remind the tragedy so maybe confronting him about it would stop the nightmares from reoccurring.

"Where did Chles imprisoned you and Sebastian? Did Chles let you go after my procedure or both of you escaped?" I asked Tom who is about to sleep. He acts like a human even when sleeping.

"I don't know maybe it's an underground cell. Sebastian knew that you were in pain. He knows because of the contract you have. He felt it. That's why he knew you were in danger. Whenever you feel happy, sad or exhausted, he can sense it. That's how it works. We were repeatedly forced to sleep with the help of that magical flute but it isn't enough to confine Sebastian. He's a demon after all."

The door opened and the room was filled by the scent of roasted pork. My sense of smell is really great when it comes to food. He put down the food on the table and then he took out the utensils from the paperbag. Aside from the pork, he bought noodles and chocolate drink again. I think he knew that it's my favorite. The salmon is probably for Tom.

"Salmon again? Ugh! It's a pass for me. I'll buy my own food and be back before midnight." Tom headed out of the room.

Tom can't be an actor. He's terrible at it. Sebastian doesn't give a damn about it and proceed on eating the pork. I think it's my first time to see him eat something. So I guess they got hungry too. I thought they don't eat human foods. I took a deep breath and sat on the chair across from him. I think he sensed that Tom had planned this all along.

"Eat your food before it gets cold," Sebastian finally looked at me.

The table is so small so being this close to him, you can clearly see the color of his eyes. It's pale red almost the color of a pink rose.

"I'm sorry... for shouting at you and saying those insulting words but it wasn't really for you," I finally said it.

He stopped munching his food and said, "It should be me to ask for an apology, not you."

I know that I won't get another chance to talk with him alone so I have to ask him now.

"I've been wanting to ask you this, what did you saw?"

He stared at me for a minute. His gaze made me uncomfortable. "There's a girl holding a knife, she's looking at the man on the bed with an intense look in her eyes. I can sense anguish from her. Is that you when you were little?"

I can't seem to answer his question. The words are stuck inside my head and it just can't get out. Sebastian definitely saw everything. I looked away from him. I felt ashamed of myself.

"What else did you saw?"

He didn't talked nor move. He's just waiting for me to tell the whole story. I'm scared that if I told him the truth, he might use it against me. I don't know if I can trust him.

"Why are you so afraid of confessing? Why do you keep everything to yourself?"

"You won't understand because you've never been through the same situation. You will never understand the humiliation and pain it caused me and my whole family."

"Try me."

Sebastian said those two words as if he never knew uncertainty. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment and then I tried to tell him everything without reliving those traumatic experiences.

"One day my brother went to the police to file a report about the abuse. They didn't believed him because they said he doesn't have any crucial evidence but he managed to persuade them to check the house. They arrived at the house in the afternoon and ask a few questions to my uncle and to me. At that moment, I realized it was such a bad idea to call the police without our parents here because I know he'll continue hurting us. After the police were gone, he went straight to my brother and he punched him over and over again until he lost consciousness. I tried to stop him but he just threw me off the wall. He casually lay down on my bed like nothing happened and then asked me to remove my clothes. I was crying the whole time because I'm worried for my brother. When he finally fell asleep, I checked my brother to see if he's still alive. Thankfully he's still breathing but he had lots of bruises. I kept on apologizing and from there on my mind had gone crazy. I picked up the knife from the kitchen's cabinet and stabbed him. I can still remember the look in his eyes and how he's choking from his own blood. Even on the verge of death, he still managed to tell me those words. Tell me I'm a good teacher to you. I don't think I am going to forget it ever. It's one of the burdens that I have to carry on for the rest of my life."

For the first time in those long and excruciating twelve years, I let out a huge thorn in my heart. Being able to tell my story felt so liberating. If I only knew this is what it feels like, I could have told anyone about it just to feel this kind of freedom. I realized now that it's not what happened to me that keeps me from living life normally, it's my rigidness to remain it as my darkest secret. I felt Sebastian's warm hand as he repeatedly pat my head.

"Whenever I lost control, like I did in Moonfall, I don't have any recollection of what happened but eventually memories will start to fill in. That's why I didn't talked to you right away, I was thinking really hard to remember everything. I also couldn't face you because I was so ashamed of what I did to you. I don't know how you saved me but thank you. If it wasn't for you, I could have lost my sanity. I also owe you an apology for all the things I said to you at the forest. I'm sorry. I know that saving me triggered the things you're trying to forget. I am truly sorry. I promise while you're with us, I will protect you so you can come back home safely."

I will protect you. It resonates inside my head like a song that I can't get out of my mind. If this is some kind of manipulation, I will take it. I have always been protecting myself alone but I'm worn out. The weeping child inside me is desperate to get out of the ugly pit of darkness. Even if I don't want to depend on his words, my options are limited because after all, that's all I want to hear ever since I was eight.