Still Holding On

Nightfall

I could feel the air around us changing, she did not utter a single word and my mind was already building up scenarios as to why the ambiance has changed from lustful to distant.

"Are you okay? Is there something wrong?" I asked on our way back to my house.

"No not really, why?" She replied with a confused look.

"Nothing, it's just you haven't said a word to me." 'Was I overreacting? But if I wasn't, why am I afraid of her answer?'

She looked doubtful; I could tell she was confused by my sudden questions.

"It's nothing Anna, I guess I'm just feeling nervous. That's all." She reached over and put her hand on my thigh as she squeezed them gently.

I smiled at her, relieved by her reply. By the time we arrived at my house, the night had rolled in and brought an unrelenting darkness. I could feel her tensed arms around me as I was about to open the door.

"Come on Tam, there's no one home. It will be okay, just chill." I said jokingly.

I was about to give her a tour but decided against it and made way to my room instead. I was nervous myself as I knew my parents would not approve to have someone I am dating in my room, let alone if they know we are home alone.

"Um, yeah this is my room." I said embarrassed.

"So, tell me Anna, why are you so embarrassed all of a sudden huh?" She whispered in my ears as she touched my face with her thumb.

'Wait.... When did she get so close?' I thought facepalming myself. She must have noticed my embarrassment, as there was a hint of self-satisfied smirk playing across her face. Both our eyes connected as her breath blew in my face. My eyes widened and I started fidgeting with my hands nervously.

"Answer me, Anna!" she said softly grabbing my chin. Her eyes stared at me as if she could see right through me. My eyes peeked at her parted lips and back to her eyes.

"Uhm... well I never really had someone in my room except for friends and family of course." I uttered, biting my lips.

"You are so sweet babe." She replied with a wink and laid on my bed, making herself comfortable.

I switched on my television, and I cautiously laid down next to her looking for movies we could watch. I was all over the place, to say the least. I felt Tami's glance on me a couple of times, I tried not to give it much attention, but obviously I failed miserably. She knew exactly what she was doing to me, she got closer to me slowly and my body went stiff.

She brushed my hair back from my shoulders and moved in so close I could feel her body pressed against mine. I felt a hot breath on my neck, and it made me lose all rational thoughts and I was just consumed by the thought of her and I. She started to caress my neck, slow and gentle. I knew she was teasing me; I could hardly bare it.

A hand ran through my hair, as the kisses became harder and more urgent. She knew that once she kissed my neck my resistance would fall to pieces and after just a few delicate touches my hands would start to do her bidding. A hand slid around my waist as she pulled me closer to her body while mine fell down her back.

Her kisses moved to my shoulders and in my neck as I tilted my head backwards giving her full access. I wanted her lips on mine and without further ado she cupped my face in her hands and gave me what I wanted as if she could read my mind. Now there was only one desire and we both knew it was just a matter of time before it happened... but not today, I am not ready to go there yet.

"Tami" I said as I sat back up. "I... I am not ready yet, I am sorry." I continued with an embarrassing look.

"Don't worry about it, I totally understand. So what movie are we watching?" She said as she leaned back on the bed with a reassuring smile patting the empty space next to her.

After what happened I was a little bit embarrassed, but I made my way to her and snuggled in her arms. We put on a random movie but neither of us was interested in it. Tami and I continued to cuddle until my eyes started to open and close. Tami put her arms around me and nuzzled into my shoulder as we drifted into a restful sleep.

Sleeping in her arms felt safe and to be honest I never felt safer in my life, as if she was my cocoon.

BOOM!! I groaned as soon as I heard that noise.

"Ugh what the fuck was that?" I said half asleep.

"Anna wake up... your parents must have come back early from their stay. We slept through the whole night." Tami freaked.

I laid in my bed contemplating whether I should wake up or just sleep again but how could I when Tami was freaking out, nudging me to wake up.

"Okay fine, I am awake Jesus Christ!" I mumbled angrily.

I threw away the covers and yawned my way down the hall to the kitchen in search of who woke me up so early. On my way I could still hear noises coming from the kitchen. I swallowed hard and clutched my chest, hoping that it is not my parents.

Do not get me wrong, my parents always loved having friends over, but they know nothing about Tami, they do not even know she exist and the last thing I want now is having to confront them about this whole situation. To be honest I am not sure if they would approve of whatever Tami, and I have let alone accept the fact that she slept here and in the same bed.

"Oh! Good morning, dear, I'm sorry if I woke you up with all the noises." My mum greeted me.

"Morning mum, did something happen to you and dad? I thought you and dad had a weekend break, no?" I replied still sleepy.

"Nothing happened dear, I forgot some stuff and came back for them. Do you want me to make you some breakfast before I leave?" She said while walking to the front door not losing any time.

"No mum, thank you. Do you know when Aria will be back by any chance?" I asked suspiciously.

"She will be back tomorrow morning along with me and dad. I will get going now, take care dear. I love you." She answered.

"Bye mum, I love you too." And with that she left.

I decided to leave Tami alone in her misery for some time and prepared breakfast for both of us. I stood by the kitchen island cutting some kiwi and apples and put some of each in two bowls. I prepared two chocolate chip muffins on two side plates while also putting some oats in two other bowls. I started the coffee machine and headed upstairs for Tami.

As I opened my bedroom door Tami jumped off my bed with fear in her eyes until she settled her eyes on me.

"Chill Hun, It's just me." I told her smiling.

"I was so worried Ann; I didn't know what to do. I was considering coming down but then I heard chatting and stayed put" Tami added.

"It's all good now, my mum came by to get some stuff and left again. Now come on I prepared breakfast for both of us." Winking at her.

Tami sat down at the breakfast table still startled because of earlier events. She poured coffee for both of us, and we both stuffed our mouths with muffins. There was silence and the only thing we heard was our chews. We exchanged countless glances every now and then, but no one uttered a word.

Tami's glances expressed something, something I could not get a hold of, I dare to say that her glances were uncomfortable. As if she knew I was searching for information, she looked at me nervously as she smiled sheepishly.

I moved closer to her and smiling down at her in a reassuring way. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me to her. I was now standing between her legs, inches away from her lips. She squeezed my waist as if she needed to make sure I was there with her.

My insecurities came back, and asked Tami if she was okay.

She looked at me and with a serious look she told me "As long as I have you by my side."

That is just what I wanted to hear, she was all mine for now and always, finally I could sense a future.