Still Holding On

Warmth

152 days passed from our first encounter, yet things never improved. I have met Tami a couple of times now. she even added me on her Facebook, and we chatted every day.

Theo introduced me to his younger sister Samantha; she was 5 years younger than him. I have never met her, but we exchanged phone numbers and added each other on Facebook as well. From our conversations I could tell She was overly sweet, and I always enjoyed chatting with her.

However, it felt odd every time we spoke. There was something off, something I could not get hold on. It felt like she was hiding something too. But what was she hiding?

Our telephone calls multiplied. We called each other every night and stayed on the phone for hours. Sometimes quietly, saying nothing, just hearing ourselves breath until one of us falls asleep.

"Hey babe, how are you?" He asked.

"Hey Hun, I am fine thanks. I am finally in bed watching a series on TV. What about you?" I replied.

"I was studying few minutes ago and decided to take a break and give you a call. What series are you watching?" That was genuinely nice of him.

"Aww babe, you know I'm always up for a call. I am watching Wentworth at the moment, I am hooked, it is so intense and alluring." I replied.

"Do you want to watch it together until one of us falls asleep?" Theo continued.

"Yes of course, I would love that." I shot back.

Wentworth is an Australian tv show, based on a female prison. Most of the characters are lesbian and there is a vast range of personalities. The show covers day to day life in prison. I felt comfortable watching it, and sometimes I could relate, and I got hooked from its first episode.

We spent endless nights watching Wentworth together. Everything was perfect, in a way, we did not argue for months, we were happy, well he was happier than me, but seeing him happy meant the world to me, so I decided to let it go, at least for now.

                                  .........................

Tami asked me if I wanted to go with her to university, it was my off day today, so I agreed.

As soon as I arrived, I called her.

"Hey Ann, you're here?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm in front of the main gate." I answered.

"Ok, I'll be there in a sec." And as soon as we cut the line, I saw her coming, waving at me.

"I have one last lecture, would you like to join in, or shall I skip it and we can go somewhere else?" She added.

"I don't mind coming in with you, it's fine by me." I replied. I really did not mind going with her to class, it was still early so we had plenty of time to spend together.

"Earth to Anna, shall we go?" I snapped back and saw her laughing.

"Yeah sure, sorry. Which class do you have next?" I asked, wanting to know what I was getting myself into.

"Sociology, it's very interesting. Come on!" Tami said.

The building was old. However, it was well kept. Once inside Tami told me that we had four flights of stairs to reach the lecture room. My facial expressions sold me, Tami giggled, and we went ahead to the lift.

"This lift is not for students, so we have to pray not to get caught and well, make it quick." she said, as if she read my mind. I nodded and followed her in. We managed to get to the fourth floor without getting caught, and as soon as we got out, we looked at each other and burst laughing.

A small sign showed that we arrived. We both walked in the classroom, and I followed Tami to two seats in the right back corner of the room.

The room was dull with dim light, and it only had two small, squared windows on each side. Sitting down I saw that the lecturer was already there preparing for the lecture. I was a bit tense and worried since I was intruding. My nerves got even worse when the classroom filled with students I never met.

The lecturer started his class, describing human relationships and factors that contribute towards building those relationships. I was intrigued and craved to hear more. I was lost hearing him, as his words touched me deep. It felt like I could relate and understand better the kind of relationship I had with Theo.
Forty-five minutes passed by so quickly, and the lecturer decided to dismiss the class five minutes early. All students cheered, collected their things, and piled up after each other waiting for their turn to leave the class. I was still glued to my seat, thinking about what the lecturer said. Tami touched my shoulder, and I realized that the class was now empty, except for me and her.

"I'm sorry Tam, I was lost in thoughts again." I said apologizing.

"Don't worry about it. From what I can see you enjoyed this class, didn't you?" Tami said smirking.

"I really did, it made me think a lot of what is going on in my life at the moment" I replied honestly.

"It made you think about you and Theo, am I right?" She answered.

I was not sure on what to tell her, this triangle thing is complicated. On one hand I do not want to be rude to her and hurt her in any way and on the other hand I cannot hide from her because she is always one step ahead of my thoughts

"Anna, I know that you may feel uncomfortable to open up about Theo, especially with me, but I am the closest thing to him you have at the moment." She said bringing me back from my thoughts once again.

"Can we change the subject please and decide where to go next?" I replied to a bit annoyed.

With a frown, Tami did not reply and instead she led the way to a square with a small park. This is one of the most attractive areas there is near the university. It is full of greenery and there are a vast variety of trees and flowers.

On the right corner of the park, there is a small cafeteria accompanied with a bunch of brown benches. There is also a big part with green lawn, ideal for picnics, and it also had three beautiful gazebos with flowers around them.

Luckily for us, that day the square was not as busy. We had the pleasure to choose wherever we wanted to stay.

"Tam, if you don't mind, I would like to sit in one of the gazebos over there." I stated.

"Yeah, go on, I will go get drinks for both of us. Espresso macchiato for you?" She asked, still irritated.

"Yes please. Thank you." I said but she was gone before I finished the sentence.

From the gazebo I could see Tami, waiting in line for her turn. There were few people before her, so she did not take much time to place our order. For a reason I could not take my eyes of off her, and she did the same.

I often found myself staring at Tami, and I have always questioned myself why. My mind played tricks on me, and I got more confused. It is funny how much our relationship changed since the first day we met.

"Espresso macchiato for you." I heard her saying from behind.

"Finally, you took forever to order. You want a cigarette?" I joked.

"Did I? I saw you staring, I bet you know exactly how much time it took me, didn't you?" She teased back.

"God women!! drink your coffee, will you?" I replied with rosy cheeks.

We spent two hours in that gazebo, sipping coffee, smoking cigarettes, and talking about a bunch of random stuff where we got to know each other more.