Chapter 31 ~ I Get to Love You

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Note: This was so much fun to write, I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it - song above is for later in the chapter if you want to listen while you read. And yes, Darker totally needed another Ruelle song ;)

Episode: Season 15 - Gimme Shelter Pt. 3

Dean echoed her words in shock and I could tell it wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting either.

"No, I won't betray him like that," Amara shook her head at us.

"Why? I mean, I get he's your brother but-"

"Ah, apologies, Dean, but you don't 'get' anything. You see me sitting across from you, you see a woman. You see Chuck as a squirrel-y weirdo. But you can't imagine what we really are. We came into existence together, we are the same,"

I grimaced at her words, "Please don't tell me you're about to break into a speech about how you were in the womb together, came into this world together and you belong together. This world does not need another Jaime and Cersei, okay? Not that I didn't low-key, well, maybe high-key ship that but, I mean-"

Sam shot me a look and I made a face at him before falling silent, knowing my que as he went on to say, "The former Death, he told us you were the firstborn,"

"Or he told you what you needed to hear..." Amara said as the boys fell silent, "Chuck and I were twins-"

"I KNEW IT! INCEST!" I cried out, waving my apple-encrusted fork in the air as all eyes in the diner landed on me.

"Parker, cool it," Dean hissed, removing the fork from my hand so that I was now forced to eat my pie with my fingers.

Grumbling, I fell silent once more, letting Amara finish her long-winded story.

"Creation and destruction, light and dark - balance. And when we split apart, all this was created,"

"The Big Bang?" Sam asked her, surprised.

"Theory?" I interjected, earning another glare from Sam.

"That was my last one." I grumbled.

"When you split so when-when he threw you in the cage, when he trapped you for an eternity," Dean clarified for her, a triumphant look on his face.

Amara shook her head with a humorless smile, "You can't play on that. Not with me. Maybe I'm a fool but I believe caging me hurt him deeply. And I know that for me to do that to him would...be an agony. I'm sorry, I can't help you."

That was really the end of the conversation after that and after a few niceties were exchanged, we excused ourselves from the diner. My boots crunched on the gravel as we climbed back into Baby and I settled back into my seat in the back. Glancing to the front seat, I saw Dean still watching Amara through the glass as she sat alone, ordering more food. He revved the engine then as Sam sighed in defeat.

"You know, maybe it's for the better..." he trailed off, sounded dejected.

Dean abruptly cut the engine all of a sudden.

"What's going on?" I frowned in confusion over at my husband, "Babe, what are you doing?"

"You two stay here. I'm gonna ask her something." he told us, turning around in his seat to peck me briefly on the lips before climbing out of the Impala and trudging back to the diner.

Sam glanced my way and I just shrugged in response, having no clue what was going on. Or what he felt the need to say to her after our very long discussion in the diner. Whatever it was though, I suppose it was important. Crawling over the front seat until I was sitting in the driver's side beside Sam, I twisted the knob to turn the heat up while Sam and I sat in silence, watching them through the glass window.

A familiar singer's voice drifted softly through the car's speakers then, the volume low in the background, "One look at you, my whole life falls in line. I prayed for you, before I called you mine..."

"You know...I'm sure it's just business. It's not like there was ever much between them. And as far as I know, what little there was is long since over. You don't need to wo-" Sam started, sympathy and warmth seeping into his words as he babbled.

But I cut him off with a slight laugh, shaking my head at my sweet best friend, "Sam, I'm not jealous,"

Sam shot me an incredulous look and I laughed again, "I'm serious! I know Dean loves me. I don't have any insecurities or fears about that - not anymore. I did when I was younger - a lot, I know. But it's...it's different now. After coming back, it's like everything is just crystal clear and all that mattered before to me - all the trivial, little, stupid things - just doesn't anymore..."

He arched an eyebrow, his tone incredulous, "So you're really okay then?"

"Oh, I can't believe it's true sometimes, oh, I can't believe it's true..."

A smile split my face and I nodded, "Yes, I'm really okay, Sammy.... I'm more than okay - I'm happy. Happier than I have any right to be."

Slowly, a smile broke out on his face as well and he squeezed my shoulder gently, "Good. You deserve that."

"Thanks, Sammy." I whispered into the darkness, the two of us falling into silence once more as I gazed back through the smudged diner glass, watching Dean.

And as I did, I felt my heart flutter in my chest - a feeling I hadn't felt in forever. Not since him.

"I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do,"

The corners of his lips curled up in a polite smile at Amara and I felt myself smile, too. Nodding, he went on talking and a rush of memories swept over me - days of hunting long past, arguing, fighting, falling in love, giving him a child, laughter, tears, so much joy and pain wrapped into all those days long gone.

"I get to love you, it's a promise I'm making to you,"

All my life, I had loved Dean Winchester. It didn't seem to matter just how many mistakes we always seemed to make with our relationship - and there had been many. We always loved each other - and always will. I knew I would love him till the day I died. He was it for me.

"Whatever may come, your heart I will choose. Forever I'm yours, forever I do..."

Whatever happened from here on out, whether we went out in a blaze of glory or lived to be 89, bickering over apple pie - I would always be his. And he would always be mine. Dean was my forever love, that would never change.

"I get to love you..."

Dean bid Amara goodbye then before rejoining Sam and I in the Impala. I couldn't help but pull him in for a kiss once he shut the car door.

"I get to love you..."

As always, he seemed to read my mind perfectly and as we broke away, his fingers caressed my cheek softly.

And in the radiant shine of his candy-apple green gaze, I knew he felt the same.

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