Taylor Caniff Imagine Book

He Said...

A/N: What happens when I write things at 2am

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have the say in who hurts you. I like my choices."
He said that he'll always be there for me... He said he was never going to leave me. He lied.
I remember when he wore more than one or two bracelets. When he rarely laughed or smiled. Everyday his face became more empty and dull. I thought he was just tired or homesick. That wasn't the case, he was broken inside, and no amount of love and strength can fix it. He was practically unfixable...
I never really "got hurt", and when I did I would be pissed at the person who hurt me. But not him, he was different. It's like no matter how times he's hurt me I wouldn't be mad. Every scar, every drop of blood, every tear, every bandages I've wrapped around his once smooth arm.
His arms soon became littered with cuts and scars, it was rough and it hurt me. It hurt me more that it hurt him.
Everyday I ask myself, what if I got help for him even though he refused. Would he still be here? Would I still get to hold him, kiss him, hear him? I remember when his dad gave me a letter from him. He wrote that "there was no one to blame but me". To me I'm the one to blame. I vowed to myself that I'll always protect him. I couldn't even do that, I couldn't save him from himself. How can someone hate pain so much but inflict it on themselves? I don't understand. I want to understand but I can't. I wish I understood. He would still be here... He said he would never leave me... He said...

I just wanted to let you all know that if you ever need help or someone to talk to I'm here. We're in this fandom and Taylor considers us as family. We need to stick together, as family. Don't ever hesitate to talk to me.