6. Faith

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Author: What do you think is one life lesson everyone needs to learn at a point in their lives?

Hope: That no one doesn't deserve love or doesn't deserve to be cared for. Everyone deserves love, even the criminals. No one should be judged by their beliefs but by who they are on the inside.

~Hope Manchester.

••

The second day in therapy and I could say it sucked ass.

How could people spend so much time talking and worrying about other people's lives? Don't they have theirs to worry about? Or rather, something else to do than question me about things I have no intention of talking about?

I was only going because Hugo had promised to get me anything I wanted if I could complete all tasks given to me—or at least attempt them, he didn't care— easier said than done.

"How was yesterday's task?" Doctor Sam asked me looking even more energetic than she did yesterday. How did she do it?

"It was brutal and I felt truthful," I replied and she smiled. Probably thinking we were making progress.

"That's nice, Faith! Small steps even though they may seem very small," she nodded seeming very happy with me. "How would you say it went?" She asked me again and I played with my fingers to reduce my anxiety. And just like the last session, her eyes fell on them.

"I would say I was more honest than I've ever been in a long time," I nodded after I spoke and she smiled.

"I will not ask you for what you said because I know by the end of this two month's session you'll willingly tell me," she seemed very confident about it. "Also, I want to keep this particular task up. Every day tell yourself something you think about yourself in front of a mirror, I can assure you it'll change over time. From negative to positive," she paused. She must have realised I hadn't said the best things about myself but seemed happy, maybe she was just happy I had attempted.

"Okay," was all I could mutter.

"Before we start I'll just give you this," Sam slid the paper just like she had done the last session down the table, it reached halfway when I picked it. "That's your task for today." She told me and put on her glasses.

I didn't have time to check if they were fake or not when I read it.

Try something new, no I do not mean wearing heels for the first time new (although I won't mind if you try that), I mean trying a new hobby or making new friends.

You have got to be kidding me.

••

It was the first time I had walked alone on my own, my brothers always made sure to keep me company but today they were too busy.

I took off my shirt and dropped it on my bed once I got to my room. I wanted to run away from all my obligations, it would be nice. No therapy surely wasn't something I was going to be against any time soon.

Doctor Sam's task popped into my head and sighed deeply. Trying something new was overrated, there wasn't anything too special about it. You could taste chocolate for the first time and it was something new. And that was an effort.

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