Something Precious {H.S.}

15: ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɢʀᴇᴇᴛ

(Bri's interlude: So just a mini recap, we originally thought that Chuck and Charlie shared the same mother, but they don't. Ana is the mother of Chuck, Jenny was the mother of Charlie, and Mina was Ellie's mother. Chuck, Charlie, and Ellie all have different mothers and Ricci is their father. Just in case anyone was confused;p)

Peace, tranquility, and all that bullshit doesn't last long.

Approximately ten minutes later, I locked myself in the guest bathroom and cried my eyes out.

Then I stole the personal pan bacon pizza, while the cook had her back turned, and left.

Luckily the gate was open when I made my hasty exit, or else I would've driven right through that sucker.

Honestly, I think I had the right to leave. After all, I did spend two hours in that house, talking to my estranged family. I think I earned a break from all of that.

Could I have excused myself gracefully? Probably, but I just needed to get out right then and there.

I eat the hot pizza as I drive, and I try to distract myself with the radio, but my thoughts overpower the music.

I really wish I had someone to talk to about all of this. Right now, my go to friend is Niall, but he's being weird. So now I need a backup friend for my backup friend.

I think about Anna, but I hardly know her enough to load her with my dark topics. I mean, we've only hung out a couple of times in the past month. I haven't even met her husband yet, so telling her about my supposedly deadbeat father, wouldn't be ideal.

Daria is too young, I don't want to bother Josie, Zayn would tell Josie, and Louis.. well, I've never seen him take anything seriously so go figure.

Basically, I'm alone.

The thought makes me feel incredibly sad.

Not only did I lose my soulmate and the father of my children. I lost my absolute best friend. With Harry, I knew I could talk to him about any and everything. Like right now, I'd probably spill everything that happened, and he would listen to every word.

He would let me rant and rave, and then he would comfort me and give me his thoughts. Then he would kiss me and tell me that everything would be okay.

Except, nothing is okay.

I ran out of tears in that guest bathroom, so now all I can do is feel. Feel how I take a step forward in my life, only to be dragged ten steps back. Feel how fucked up my parents are/were and how I'm only getting one side of the story. Reliving the horrible feelings over and over again every time I think of my Harry.

I honestly believe that if I wasn't pregnant, I would've ended this a long time ago. I'm not strong enough to handle any of this, only I force myself to be. No one knows that I cry myself to sleep some nights. Or that I still get the good Harry dreams mixed in with the Harry nightmares. No one knows that I sometimes wonder if I would be happy by now, if I had ended it that day.