Curved Edges ✔

(120) Future in one shot

♡ MONA

I stare at the three pregnancy tests in front of me. All three of them telling me the same thing. I'm pregnant. The tears roll down my cheeks and I'm not even sure if it's happiness, sadness, or shock. What the hell am I going to do now?

Saying out loud to Harold that I might be pregnant, saying I wanted to be, is not the same as actually seeing proof that I am.

Harold left after dinner with a smile on his face and a binder full of phone numbers and information about schools, handymen, movers, and whatever else he could possibly need. I've lived in this area my whole life and have a huge tribe of people, ready to help out with every situation. That's how we do things around here. We all do something and combine forces.

I hold the three sticks I peed on in my hands and take a deep breath. I wish I could call my best friend. I need her. Right now. I touch the thin bracelet around my wrist with the small heart on it. She has the outline of that heart around her wrist. She gave it to me years ago and said: "To remind you I am always with you in spirit. Just imagine me there."

And that's what I do. I imagine her here with me. She would be happy about this. She knows all I ever wanted to be was a mom. I can just hear her words in my head. "Oh my God Mona! A little person is growing inside of you. Made from love. True love. Growing in the body of the most loving woman I've ever known. That little speck of human is so lucky to have you as his or her mom. I can't think of anyone better to raise a child well."

The tears fall from my eyes as I let the imagined words of my bestie sink in, taking a deep breath as I feel connected to her. Here on the cold tiles of my bathroom floor. What else would she say?

"I finally get to be godmother to your child. I will spoil that baby rotten and make sure she learns to stand up for herself, be true to herself. The most stubborn kids grow up to be the most wonderful adults."

I chuckle softly. It's exactly what she would say. I know her so well that she's become a part of me. I can channel her whenever I need her. I hope she's doing well. And I hope she's getting some. She needs it. 

She needs people to desire her. It boosts her confidence. I hope she realizes how many people look at her and lust over her. She should walk around strong and sexy. Because she is.

I look at the tests in my hands again and smile. I got this. I've been a mom all my life. To all of the kids I took care of. Sometimes even to the adults I crossed paths with. I'm made for this job. And I can finally do exactly what I think is right. 

I put a hand on my tummy and rub it gently.

"You're so wanted and so welcome baby. I'm going to tell you that every day. You're a product of love and I will make sure you feel that in your heart from now until my last breath."

I hear the front door slam, followed by Montell's voice, "Mona! Babe? Where are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom boo!"

He runs up the stairs and rushes in, freezing on the threshold. His eyes connect with mine, move down to my tear-stained cheeks, and end up on my hand that's still holding the pregnancy tests. He takes two steps towards me and kneels down next to me, staring deep into my eyes as he grabs my free hand with both of his.

I watch him take a shaky breath, feel his hands tremble and I get nervous. What if he's not ready? What if he doesn't want it? I see Ama in my head and a tiny smile creeps on my lips. I got this, with or without him. 

I clear my throat, "I'm pregnant Montell."

He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles as he cries silently, trembling all over. He hasn't said a word yet but when he looks up at me, I see it. Through the tears swimming in his dark eyes, I see love, so much love that it takes my breath away.