The other Barnes

Reasoning

  A/N: The rest is in present day from now on.

Present day:

Emily locked herself in a supply closet and slammed herself against a wall. She was crying heavily, in danger of ripping her stitches.

    "Emily?" A familiar voice called from the other side of the door.

   "Go away Steve!" She yelled.

  "No." He called back "let me in. Let's talk about this."

   "What's to talk about? You didn't want us." She replied

   "Us?" He asked.

She continued crying. He sighed.

"Em." He had that soft value to his voice. The one he used to hold only for her. "we can't do this through a door."

She unlocked the closet. He entered and sat opposite of her.

   "Who is us?" He asked calmly

   "Me." She hesitated

"And? Us implies there's two of you."

"And the baby."

He blinked. He was shocked. His voice hitched in his throat.

    "Baby?"

The thought of being a father terrified and excited him.

   "The day." She started to cry again "The day you left for Germany. The day you broke it off with me. I was coming to tell I was pregnant."

She winced as her stitches pulled. He instinctively reached for her. She pulled away.

   "Why didn't you say anything?" He asked "Even if we aren't together, I deserved to know."

  "I wrote you a letter...but I was scared to send it." She admitted. "Then...Peggy knocked on the door."

Tears were still streaming down her face.

     "When I was told your plane went down I-..." She trailed off before continuing "I lost it. I started crying and I couldn't stop. Then there was pain. A lot of it. And next thing I knew, Tony's father was carrying me into a hospital."

Steve fought back tears. He felt angry. Angry at Peggy. He felt like she let his child die.

   "Peggy said she knew I was pregnant when I protected my stomach after she told me you were gone. And she knew it was yours." She continued "she tried to save the baby. Tried to calm me down before the pain started. Told me to hold on for the baby. To be strong for your child. But I couldn't."

His face softened. She began to cry again.

   "Steve I'm sorry I should have been stronger." She her body was shaking again.

"Em. Breathe. You're gonna hurt yourself."

   "God you must hate me." She cried. "I'm so sorry."

She was gripping her side from the pain.

     "Em. I don't hate you." He'd pulled her against his chest "There was no way of stopping it. It's not your fault."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Breathe."

"You know what makes it worse?" She asked, a pained laugh escaping her lips. "Thinking you were dead. Killed me. Caused me to lose the one piece of you I had left. Because I loved you. But you didn't love me. You loved Peggy. You chose her. Even when you thought you were going to die, you chose Peggy. But I-I would always choose you. You were always my first choice."

She pushed away from him and left the closet.

  "That's not true." He whispered.