5SOS Preferences

coma-part two

unedited, but whenever it is in italics, it is calums thoughts from inside the coma. there is going to be one more part to this story, then its over. and i am also working on another preference seeing as i have not done a proper one of those in what feels like ages.

floating. it always feels like i am floating. its like there is no way that i am able to put my feet on anything solid. darkness. all i can see is darkness. i dont  know where i am, but it is always dark, and frankly, terrifying. i have no feeling. i can not feel my body. i have tried to pinch myself, to see if i can wake myself up, but i dont have any feeling. i am having trouble figuring out where i am. i mean, i dont think i am dead, because it feels like i have been here for a few weeks, maybe months. also, when you die, arent you supposed to see some big bright light.

the last thing i can remember is hanging out with luke. i really hope that we did not do something stupid. i was suppoesed to be the driver, so that luke was able to finally get drunk off his ass.  then, i was going to make sure that luke got hme safetly in his bed wiht an asprin and a glass f water. there was no doubt that he was going to have a major hang over.

i do remember bringing luke into the car. he was fucked of his ass as far as i could remember. but the last thing i can remember is being stopping at a stop light, then nothing. like like, i have amnesia or something, no pun intended.

but there are so many possibe senarios that could have occured. there is a chance that it is five years in th suture and i dont remember anything from that moment becasue i was in some horrible accident. there is also the possibility that i had the accident at that moment and i am in coma. i have no clue what is happening, but what i do know is, i need to find a way to get out of here.

"you need to fight your ass off calum. you need to fight"

what the bloody hell was that. i have been here, in this state of mind for, i dont know how long, and this is the first thing i hear. i can assure you, that is not very comforting to hear. what does this even mean. what am i supposed to do to fight. i mean, is there anything i am supposed to fight. like, it seems like i have lost a fair amount of muscle mass, so fighting might not be the best idea i have had.

that voice. i fucking know that voice. its luke. its fucking luke hemmings. thank god he is okay. but he wants me to fight. what in the world am i fighting for. am i suppposed to fight to see luke. i mean, he matters to me, but to be honest, i dont know if i want to see him at the moment. i kind of would like to see my mum though.  

i need to know what i am supposed to fight. like, am i supposed to get into a physcial fight, or is it some kind of mental thing.

"fight to open your eyes cal. fight to see the light of day! believe that you can open them and see everyone again. fight for the fans man"

and there it was again. the one and only luke hemmings coming to my rescue like the savoir he is.

now, for corse i want to see the light again. watch the sun rise up in to morning while the birds start chirping. i really want to see the fans again. perform for them, like i should be doing right now. make them happy, and see all thier smiling faces. i want to see mum and mali again, seeing as they are the two most beautiful people in the world. and it might be weird, but i really would mind seeing ashton and michael again. i wonder what color mikeys hair is now. has he dyed it a different color, or is it still that fading green type of thing. and luke, of bloody corse i want to see luke. i mean, what was i saying before. he is the closetest thing i have to knowing what really happened to me.