ACOTAR - Imagines

Cassian-Scars

POV: 

You've been a soldier in the Illyrian army your whole life and have many scars from old injuries to prove it. You hate them and think that Cassian does too but he tells you otherwise...

Y/N  POV

You turn off the water and step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around yourself. Outside, the setting sun stains the sky an ombre of pink, yellow and orange; the clouds lilac colored.

Drops of water fall off you to the ground as you make your way to the closet at the back of your room. The weather in Velaris is warm so you pick out a tank top and a pair of shorts. You sit down at the small dressing table piled with ointments and herbs for sore muscles, and brush out your damp hair. 

As a soldier, you have never worried about your physical appearance. But that was until you met Cassian. The gorgeous, strong Illyrian male who stole your heart, and planned to keep it. When you were with him you wanted to look pretty, to feel pretty. So you tried your best to make an effort, for him, and yourself; but sometimes when you saw how pretty Feyre and Mor and Elain were, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. And not just because they were taller and less muscular than you, but because they had the cleanest skin you had ever seen. No blemish or hint of any imperfection. And no scars.

Not like you, who had many scars from years of fighting and battles and training. You had accidentally cut yourself many times when you first learned to wield a sword or throw a dagger, and you had the scars to prove it. 

Of course you couldn't help it if you had many scars and would probably get a lot more in the future. You didn't mind them, or at least you hadn't until Cassian introduced you to Mor and Feyre, and you decided that if Cassian had spent most of his life surrounded by woman as beautiful as them then he wouldn't ever see you as beautiful. Of course that meant he loved you for you and not your appearance; but it still couldn't hurt to be beautiful.

You sigh, getting up from the table and walking to the glass-less, roof to floor windows.

Sitting on the edge of the balcony you gaze at the sunset. 

'Y/N?' a voice echoes from inside.

'I'm out here,' you call and a moment later Cassian shows up behind you.

'Hey,' you greet him and he leans down to kiss you.

'Hello my love.' he smiles and sits down beside you. You roll your eyes at his extravagant greetings.

'How did the meeting go?' you ask him and watch as his face shadows with exhaustion.

'Devlon still won't let the young girls train.'

You think back to when you were just a young girl, hoping for a place in the Illyrian army, and how you had to beg Rhysand to let you train with the men. He had done so, only on the condition that you were treated fairly. You think of all the other young girls as hopeful and desperate as you were and feel your heart clench.

'We will find a way to make him cooperate Cassian.' you tell him and rest your head on his shoulder.

You watch the rest of the sunset together and then head back inside for Cassian to clean up. 

As he showers, you sit on your big bed and look at all the scars on your arms, hands, legs and stomach. There was even a small one running across the length of your left cheek.

You hear the shower water turn off and quickly get under the covers. A moment later Cassian walks out of the bathroom and you watch as he gets dressed. He made scars look good, you think. Though his body was flecked with them, you loved everyone and wanted to know the story behind each one of them. Why couldn't your scars look so noble, like trophies of all your great victories? Why did yours have to look like mistakes?

He finishes getting dressed and walks over to your side of the bed, and leans down to kiss you. You melt into the kiss but make sure to keep the covers tucked tight against your body. When he moves to deepen the kiss, his hands start to roam your body and you immediately draw back.

'Y/N?' he says and tries to kiss you again but you put your hand on his chest and push him back. 'What's wrong?' he asks, and pulls back.

'I'm just tired Cass.' you lie.

'No,' he says and sits of the edge of the bed. 'what's really going on?'

You sigh and feel tears prickle at your eyes. Turning away you say quietly, 'I don't want you to kiss me.'

You hear his sharp intake of breath. 'Why, my love?' 

'Because I am not beautiful like all the other women you have been with!' you blurt out. 'And Mor and Feyre, they have eternal beauty. Then there's me. I have more scars than I can even count and I'll probably get many more in years to come. You deserve to be with someone beautiful, and I am not beautiful like them.' Your voice breaks as you say that last sentence and tears run freely down your cheeks.

For a long moment, only the sounds of your silent crying fills the room. 

Then, you hear Cassian say, 'You're right.'

'What?' you choke out among your sobs.

'You are not as beautiful as them,' he says and you feel your heart drop. You have stopped crying now and you stare at him. 'To me, you are more beautiful than any other woman in Prythian. No, in the whole world! Do you think I ever looked at your scars and saw something ugly?'

When you don't reply he takes your chin in his hands and forces you to look up at him. 'Every time I look at your scars, I'm reminded of how strong you are, of everything you've overcome, and of every battle you won. I could never look at any part of you and see anything other than beauty, and I love every part of you, even the scars.'

His eyes look deep into yours and you see nothing but the absolute truth in his face. 'You...you really mean that Cass?'

'I do,' he leans down and connects his lips with yours. The kiss is soft and sweet, the purest declaration of love between you two.

Hello! So here is the first Cassian imagine, hope you enjoyed it :) Remember that requests are always open. Comment which acotar characters you would like to see next!                   Update coming again soon x