Walking the shadows(Rogue Cheney x oc) rewrite

Chapter 19

Rogue's pov

I opened my eyes, quickly covering them with one arm when the faint light coming through the gap in the curtain caused my headache to worsen. I waited a couple minutes before slowly sitting up, running one hand through my hair. I pulled the covers back before blinking. I wasn't wearing any clothes. That wasn't right. I never went to bed without something on. I turn to the side. Starlight is asleep with her back facing me. I pull the covers down, only see her bare skin. I turned away, feeling my face heat up. Movement alerts me and I turn back to see Starlight was begining to stir. She props herself on her elbows, staring blankly ahead with bleary eyes. She pushes herself up and rubs her eyes before turning to me.
"Did we......."
"Fuck last night. Yes" she replies, voice sounding dry. I pause for a second.
"Did I do something to upset you? If I did then could you tell me so I know what to make up for?" I ask.
"You didn't do anything wrong. It was my stupid idea and you were too drunk to say no" she responds, her tone not changing in the slightest. I looked down at my hands before opening my mouth.
"Don't say anything. I don't want to hear it" she tells me, pushing herself out of the bed and running one hand through her hair.
"Starlight. Can we just talk for a few minutes?"
"I'm going to the bathroom" she states, ignoring what I'd asked and walking into the bathroom. I was still sat in the bed unsure about what I should do. I stayed still until I felt a quick nip on the back of my neck followed by a mild sense of sadness. I reached up to the back of my neck but there was nothing there. No needles, pins, nothing. Wait. Was that the mark just now. I listen out for running water but I can't hear any. I get up, walk to the bathroom door and knock.
"Starlight?" no response.
"I'm coming in, alright" I alert her, reaching for the handle and twisting it. It clicked and I pushed the door open slowly. I closed it behind me before turning around and looking around. Starlight was in the corner, curled up on herself with her head in her knees. I walk over, sitting down next to her.
"Starlight?"
"Go away" she responds, not lifting up her head.
"But.... Your sad. I can't just leave you alone when your sad" I object.
"Maybe I want to be alone when I'm sad" she replies. I placed a hand on her shoulder. She tensed slightly.
"What did I do?"
"I told you that you've done nothing. It's all me" she replies.
"Please look at me"
"Why"
"I want to look at you" she hesitates before lifting her head. I place one hand under her chin and turn her to look at me. Tears were running down her face. I rub ne away before she breaks her head away from my touch.
"Starlight. What's wrong?" I ask. She tightens the grip on her legs.
"I....... Its stupid" she responds, turning to look at the wall.
"I'll listen" she bows her head for a second before looking up again.
"I....... I just have so much happening in my head. Its crazy because only a week ago I thought you were some annoying asshole who was forcing themselves into my life and now........ now I like you... As more than a friend..... I-it's probably because your the first person to treat me so kindly in a romantic way. I nearly broke down last night" she vents, the waver clear in her voice. I open my mouth but she speaks again.
"A-and, I feel so stupid about it because you were drunk and I'm a horrible person and someone as kind as you deserves so much better than a wreck like me but I still just want to have you to myself and I know I'm being selfish and insane and I wouldn't blame me if you just kicked me out onto the street here and now. Its more than I'll ever deserve" she explains, hands now running through her hair.
"Starlight. I have something I want to tell you but there's a few things I want to ask. Why do you think you don't deserve to be with me?"
"There's so many reasons, I probably have a whole list by now. I've stolen money to pay for drugs and alcohol, I was an asshole to everyone in fairy tail despite the fact they've done nothing wrong to me. I wouldn't even be able to give you children. I'm too afraid to have them again after the last two times-"
"You've had kids? W-what age are you? " I was completly shocked.
"19" she Mumbles.
"What happened to your kids?"
"A miscarriage and a still born. If it wasn't for all the shit I shoved into my body, they'd both be alive. I killed my own children before they were even born. How can someone see anything worth saving in me. I'm a lost cause" she cries. I pull her into a hug, letting her cry into my shoulder. When she's calmed down slightly, I pull her back to look at me.
"You're talking like I'd be bothered by that fact. That you wouldn't want children" she blinks at me, shock clear on her face.
"I also don't blame you entirely for those deaths. You were still a child yourself. Taking on the responsibility of a child is a lot for someone, never mind a teenager. All you need is some guidance. You are still able to be helped. You're just lost and I'm willing to help you find your way back. Why do you think I want to help train you and help you quit drinking and drugs. Its all to help you find your way to a point that you feel happy with" I explain.
"What are you saying?" I take a deep breath.
"I've been wanting to ask this for a couple days now but Starlight Redfox, will you go on a date with me?" I ask. She blinks at me.
"I know this is really shitty timing but.... I thought now would be a decent time to tell you how I feel, since that is what caused this in the first place" I explain.
"I don't know. Aren't you making a mistake?"
"Give me at least one date. If it goes bad then I'm still willing to be friends. I won't just leave you alone and I'm definetly not kicking you out onto the streets" I respond.
"Alright" she Mumbles.
"Great. Now can we go put some clothes on, I'm starting to get a little cold in here without any clothes" I explain, coughing into my hand. She nods in agreement, allowing me to help her to her feet.
"Guess I'll need to tell you what happened last night" she sighs.
"That would help. I don't remember any of it"