The Mafia Kids

Chapter 40

I found myself contradicting my own self once again when it came to him. I'm not dumb, I know why he did what he did but he didnt have to go about it like that. He didnt have to treat me like I wasnt his daughter.

"Why didnt you acknowledge that I was your daughter?" I asked looking up at him.

He paused for a moment and looked at me. He has no answer for this because he has no reason to do that.

"Do you remember how your mother and brother died?" He asked knitting his hands together.

"A car accident, I was young how am I supposed to remember that?" I asked annoyed at his blatant disregard for my question.

And I'm supposed to forgive him just like that?

"Thats right a car accident, do you know why? They were targeted because they were related to me. I didn't hide them from the world like I did with you, everyone knew my wife and kids, just like how Theo and his dad are. Their face was known, because I thought I could always protect them but I was wrong. They exacted revenge on me through your mother and brother and was successful. It took everything from me and I couldn't do what I promised, keep them safe. You know you were in that car too Hunter, when I got there, I saw them in body bags but you, no, they didnt even find your body. Said that your small frame must have gotten crushed so bad with the crash or caught in the explosion because they couldnt find you.......then I heard your little voice so soft, faint and it gave me the biggest amount of hope. They told me I was hallucinating, no one believed me when I said I can hear you calling for me. They told me not to go to the crash but I did anyways. I found you under the mangled car, you fought for you life and you survived. When you cane out of that coma, I decided I won't put you in that situation again. That's why to the world, you had died with your mother and brother. I couldn't risk it happening again," he said softly staring off into space as he recalled everything.

I was in that accident? I don't remember that part of my life, not one bit of it. I suppose I was young but I did remember my mother and brother vividly. I mean, he has a valid reason for this, hell I probably would have done the same but why in our home too? It still doesn't make sense.

"I want you to explain, everything why did you do what you did? I knew you had to train me to be tough but Boss, some things weren't necessary at all, if I'm to forgive you I need to know why," I said feeling my eyes stinging.

I've never cried in front of him but today I couldn't fight it. The tear didnt fall but I knew my eyes were watery. He let out a long sigh and looked at me grabbing my hand gently. I wanted to pull away but I've craved for a loving touch from him for as long as I could remember and the warmth of his hands and how gently his grasp was reminded me of when we used to walk in the morning hand in hand.

"I owe you this, I promise I'm going to try to make us work, I failed at being your father and its late to want to start now but, I need to do this, you deserve better, you deserve a father, a really father and I was an asshole thinking what I was doing would benefit you," he said softly and I saw a tear run down from his face and it hurt.

I....I want that. I want you to be a father but how can you after all you've done? Can you really change so much in two weeks?

"Do you hate me child?" He asked and I cocked a brow at him and couldn't help but chuckle.

"I thought so......but when I thought my time had come, I realized I didnt, you were the only person on my mind in that moment. When I called you, I said papa, hoping that you'll understand it meant .....well...I still loved you reguardless.....but that moment is gone and I really dont like you much but hey if we're being honest you're a shitty person in general," I shrugged making him chuckle wiping his stained face.

"Thats a better answer than I expected," he laughed making me laugh.

God I hate somber situations, I like to laugh.

"I suppose I thought that......well when I lost them, I stared drinking a lot, nothing really took away the pain.....if it wasn't for you in that very low moment of my life, I had though about ending it. The pain and greif, was too much for me, I didnt know it would take that much from me. You see, when you woke up, I was there, you gave me comfort but knowing that if I lost you I wouldnt have anything to save me, I decided that if I distanced myself maybe you won't feel the same way if something had happened to me and I wouldn't feel as hurt as I did, so I tried to make you hate me, and I thought I had succeeded but when you called I realized otherwise. I regretted not loving you like I should have, all because I was afraid to let myself feel grief and I didnt want you to feel it either," he sighed and in that moment I truly felt sorry for him.

He never got help, greif does things to people and maybe if he had gotten help at the right time circumstances would be different. Till today he still hadn't gotten over that accident, I can see it, I always saw it. I guess I never realised how bad it fucked him up. His heart was in the right place but his head wasn't. If I'm being honest, the more he speaks the less angry I get at him. Maybe if he had abused me I would have outright shut this down. One thing he failed to do on this mission was realize that he needed help and I can't hate him for that but I should.

"What you failed to realize boss, is that death is inevitable. It could come at any moment. I don't want to keep living like this, I want you to know that the memories you make with a person while they're living is what keeps you happy when they're dead. Knowing that at any point you think of them, you can find a happy moment. You know, with us, we have none of those. I think the only one you gave me was when you promoted me. That's the first memory in a long time that was good. I want to start over, and I want you to be a father. As much as I should, I'll never hate you.....you're all I have in this world," I said whispering out the last part.

We sat there in silence for a very long time.

"You know, my father did what I did to you.....but he was a sack of shit. He purposefully did what he did but he was worse. I hated him till the day he died and I still do now. I felt nothing, I didnt know my mother she died when I was too young to remember. I remembered saying to myself if I had kids I won't ever be like him.....yet here I am and I wasted my time because it didn't do what it supposed to," he said breaking the silence making me look up at him.

"He abused you mentally and physically, he starved you for weeks, he shot you for fun......he fucked you up man, I know all about him, maybe you think you were that bad....dont get me wrong you're a sack of shit too but he was the biggest one of them all," I said and he grinned.

"How do you even know that?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Mom, you gave me her diary remember. She wrote about you, about your past didnt spare no detail as to what you told her, I'm sorry for invading your privacy like that man," I sighed and he shrugged.

"Oh....its fine, well at least the old fucks dead now," he shrugged and I nodded.

Yeah, after reading that I started waiting for the day he would amp up his way of fucking with me but it never cane to that shit he went through and god am I greatful.

"I mean you did make me kill a dude when I was five, thats pretty fucked up oh and that time you left me our in the lightening storm and oh when you locked me in that room with those fucking dogs and a pocket knife and that time when you left me in the woods with nothing and told me to find my way back home," I grunted remembering his punishments.

"The last two is literal trainings, we all did that, ask Pablo, but I do apologize for the first two," he said softly and I looked at him like wtf.

"Even Kai?" I asked and he grinned.

"Soon, very soon," he chuckled and I gasped.

"Oh wait don't tell me, you pushed things sooner for me huh," I scowled and he nodded.

"Don't think Lucifer just came out from nowhere kid, there's a reason why you're the best. You're resilient, always were ahesd of your time," he shrugged and I nodded.

"I just wanted to know how to kill you faster," I shrugged and we both chuckled.

We spoke for a very long time. We ate, we laughed and he cried. I've had many firsts today and the more we spoke I understood him, the more he opened up the more I realized now alike we were. He was truly remorseful and I did forgive him. Things do however take time, so not fully but it was a start by telling him I did.