29. Words

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Harry eventually plucked up his courage and returned to the booth to have a last drink with Draco and their friends.  He was feeling much better when he sat down, and judging by the looks on everyone's faces, so were they.  Ordering another whiskey, he sighed and apologized for leaving, he just needed fresh air.  They all said they understood, but could see that something was still nagging at him.  Being the bravest out of all of them, Neville said what the others couldn't.

"Harry, you know if something is bothering you, you can talk to us, right?", he said.

"Yeah, thanks Nev.  Nothing is though", he replied taking a sip.

"Right, because you have an absolute boring life, and nothing is weighing on your heart", said Pansy sarcastically. 

He snorted.  Loving his new friends for their snarky attitudes, he felt at ease.  He looked at Luna, his old friend, and knew that out of all of them, she was the one that understood him the most.  Their friendship had only become stronger in fifth year, and sometimes, for which Harry was very grateful, there were no need for words.  Words had a way of being twisted.  They would just sit with each other, and the silence would ease their tension or relieve their anxiety.  Hermoine used to understand him, but not quite on the same level.

And so, throwing caution to the wind, Harry asked a question of his own.  "How does one move past their anger?".  He wasn't asking for him, he was asking for Draco.  Maybe they would come up with a solution to him resolving his anger.  It was worth a shot, right?  "You face it head on", came the reply from Luna.  Winking at her, because he had a strange feeling that she knew what he was asking, he replied with a silent "oh".  She decided to elaborate.

"Everyone has a right to be angry Harry.  You have anger and you displayed it to us all, and we respect you for it.  If your anger was never addressed, you would never have been allowed to heal.  That is the beauty of it.  The love you felt from all of us, the teachers, the students, even the castle, it all allowed you to heal.  But don't forget, together with all of that, we had words.  We had words with each other.  We had words of upliftment for each other.  We decided to talk about it.  We shared stories of our encounters with you, and we sometimes questioned your sanity, but we are all better for it.  I, for one, heard stories about you that I never knew.  If someone is angry with you, you would expect them to confront you and talk about it.  But don't forget, it's not easy for some".

Harry nodded his agreement.  It was never easy for him either, and so he understood what she was saying.  With this gentle nudge, he hoped that Draco would at least try and approach him with his anger.

"Shouting and screaming are also good ways to vent I suppose, as long as it is towards the person you are angry with, but here you must be careful.  Hurtful things tend to come out, and once it's been said, it's hard to take back".  Harry had a feeling those words were for Draco.  "When did you get so wise Luna Lovegood?", he asked with a smile.  "Always have been Harry", she answered.

Not to get too sappy, Seamus suggested that after one more drink, they should head back to the castle.  Leaving the Three Broomsticks, they all left together, arriving back at Hogwarts in time for lunch.  They were all hungry, and started digging in the minute the food presented itself.  Harry dug in.  His huge frame needed the energy to keep him going.  Beef and onion pie, mashed potatoes, sweet peas, and gravy filled his plate.  

Moving his gaze to Draco, whose plate only had a small piece of pie and a bit of salad, he asked why wasn't he eating more.  He needed to take care of himself.  And that was when Draco snapped.  He knew that Harry had asked about the anger on his behalf, and it had pissed him off.  He was quite capable of dealing with his own anger thank you.  He was quite capable of confronting it when it suited HIM.  Who the hell did Harry think he was anyway.

Standing up, he raised a finger and pointed it at the green eyed hunk, "Don't bloody act like you care Potter.  You never cared in first year, and you didn't bloody care last year during the war, so don't sit there and tell me I need to eat more!", he panted.  And with that, he stormed out of the hall leaving everyone speechless.  Harry was confused.  What the hell had he done to get that reaction out of Draco.  

Losing his appetite, he put down his knife and fork, shrugged at his friends, because he didn't know what was going on, and started to stand up from his chair to go and look for Draco, when he heard the doors open again. 

"And another thing", shouted Draco, who had entered the hall again, still wielding a finger at the very confused Gryffindor.  "I don't need anyone to tell me how to move past or address my anger, I will do it when I am ready.  Not on your time, but on my own.  Do you understand?".  Harry furrowed his brows.  So that's what had set this off.  He hadn't meant to push anything, but in a way he was glad he had.  Because what Draco was doing now, was addressing his anger.  And so he decided to go with it.

"What do you think you're doing now Draco?", he asked.  "If you're angry, and you have something to say, say it.  Don't hold back", he demanded.  Bracing himself for the onslaught, he looked into the silver eyes of Draco Malfoy.  He felt alive, for the first time in a long time.  This is what he needed.  This is what he wanted.  To let go of all the fury that had been building up.  The pent up anger, the sexual frustration needed to be let out of it's cage.

Everyone in the hall had stopped eating.  This was huge entertainment.  Potter and Malfoy, the two enemies of Hogwarts going at it in front of everyone.  The only thing missing was popcorn.

"All right, I won't hold back.  But don't say I didn't warn you".  He paused and looked at Harry, the man who had kissed him with such a passion, the man he had kissed back, and had wanted for so long.   "I hate you", said Draco.  "I hate your green eyes, and your stupid glasses.  I hate the way your hair never looks combed.  I absolutely hate the way you think you can strut about the castle thinking that the speech you gave can bring everyone together, because news flash, it can't".  Draco had tears in his eyes, and was blinking madly to not let them fall.

"What are you talking about.  You told me that what I said, was brilliant.  You told me that it touched hearts and souls, Draco.  Now you tell me that none of it matters.  It doesn't mean anything?", he shouted.  And just what the hell did he mean by his eyes, and glasses and his hair.  His hair never looked combed, that much was right, but why mention those things.  "I said that if you take the time to listen, then you will feel the love inside Hogwarts.  But you, you don't want to, do you.  You want to hate me.  And that's ok, go ahead and hate me, but I will not, in any lifetime, hate you back Draco.  Ever.  So don't expect me to", he panted, and with tears flowing down his cheek, he left the great hall.

Draco just stood there.  He knew he had maybe overstepped his boundaries, and that he had hurt Harry.  But he hated feeling vulnerable, and this prissy attitude of his was a defence mechanism.  He lifted his chin, looked at his friends sitting at the table, and said "What?".  Rolling her eyes, Pansy got out of her chair and said in a very loud voice, "Exactly how stupid are you Draco Malfoy?".  He narrowed his eyes at her, how dare she ask him that in front of his peers.

"Harry adores you, he wants to be your friend, and you keep pushing him away.  Have you learnt nothing these past few weeks.  What do you think healed Harry?  It was love Draco.  Professor Mcgonagall warned us at the beginning of the year, we need to love.  It's a much better feeling than hate Draco baby, because it's not as heavy", she said softly.  She knew that she was getting through to him, but that he needed to be alone.  To save his dignity, she said that maybe he should go and wash his face, find Harry and talk to him.

Draco felt terrible.  He started shaking there where he was standing, and when he felt arms around him, he just leaned onto the shoulder and wept like a child.  When he looked up, he was looking into the brown eyes of Hermoine.  She was smiling at him, understanding that he was hurting, and he didn't know how to deal with it.  She turned him around, and guided him out of the hall.  When they were alone she spoke to him.

"Draco, don't go and find Harry now.  He will want to be alone, but I will make it so that you two can have the common room to yourselves this afternoon.  It will be your chance to have words with each other.  It needs to happen Draco.  OK?", she said.  

He nodded, and said thank you.





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