New Directions

Ians POV

I woke up and clicked off my alarm clock. Anthony was cooking something. I could tell because it smells like burning shit and death. I rolled over and remembered what wiki how said about stretching and showering right after you wake up for a good day. Haven't had one of those in a while.

I leaned down to touch my toes. I pulled my arms across my chest, my torso twists, and other shit. I guess
I felt better. I hopped in the shower and sorta stood there. It felt like I was waiting for something to happen. I'm 25. No girlfriend, just my best friend and I in a house. I looked down at myself. My feet stubby, my thighs pudgy, my knees bony. Fans don't see how self conscious I am. They say really shitty stuff sometimes. I always feel like the second wheel. "That other guy" the one who's simply tolerated not loved.

I tried to brush those thoughts aside so I just washed my bowl hair and my body. I still felt like shit. Next up according to wiki how I need to get out and do something. I might go out to get a pet. Possibly a guinea pig. Smosh could do a lot with a pet. Hmm. I'll bring it up.

I dried off, my thoughts bouncing like a stray bullet it my head. Fucking adhd. It sucks.

"Dude? Are you alright?" Anthony asked, interrupting my hair drying.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm going to get a guinea pig, wanna tag along?" I was honestly a little nervous on what he would say. Maybe he wouldn't want one in the house.

He jiggled the door knob and stopped realizing that it was locked. "Why the hell not? Yeah let's get one! We could do so much! Plus it could help you with your stress and shit." He remarked.

I smirked. "Yeah. Let me get dressed and we can head out at ten. Sound good?"

"Sure dude. Then we can get some coffee. Also I got a date tonight with Kalel so I'm going to be home later."

"How much later? If we need to we can bring our laptops to the coffee place and edit there. Get some shit done you know?"

I could hear him sigh a little bit. Always afraid of effort. "Yeah okay. Sounds good to me. Now get out of there I need to take a shower I smell." He complained.

"Alrighty then." I replied, pulling on shorts and a shirt. I opened the door where he was waiting. "Ugh! You smell like shit dipped in beer!"

"I know so does my room. Don't let me go out again. Kalel got mad at me even though I didn't hook up with anyone." Anthony awkwardly sat there, smelling up the place with his booze breathe and armpit smell.

"I don't even care just wash the smell of roadkill off would you?" I joked. He fake laughed and pushed inside the bathroom.

I smiled. I walled over to the couch. I tapped impatiently on the arm, waiting for him. Fifteen minutes later he came out.

"Do I look good? Because I feel fabulous" he remarked, posing in his shaggy jeans and Zelda tee shirt.

I chuckled. "Why yes you look dashing now let's go I want to snuggle with a rodent."

"Alright then get up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We decided to walk. I had my sunglasses on as we talked. I felt better. We chatted about random shit and joked about even more random shit.

"Ooo Ian hotty jogging eight o clock." Anthony remarked.

"Dude you have a girlfriend and what the hell is wrong with her. Holy shit she's dying." I said, speeding up. She looked horrible. Her hair was sticky with sweat and she was white ass pale.

"Dude she's gonna fall get over there!" Anthony yelled, chasing behind me.

I rushed over and stopped right in front the heaving girl. "Are you alright?" I asked. She never answered. She was on her ass out cold.

I panicked. "What the fuck! Anthony!" I yelled out as I knelt down beside her.

"Holy shit holy shit holy shit" that was all Anthony could say. He might have a panick attack.

I picked the blonde girl up bride style. "Come on we're not that far from home we just need to cool her down."

"Are you kidding?! She needs to go to a hospital! She's having a heat stroke or something!" Anthony cried.

"Just come on she'll be fine." I confirmed, speed walking the other direction towards home.

"Dude! No! Ughhgjhhhjjhhjksk" that was the noise Anthony made when he knew I wasn't dicking around.

When we reached the door, she was burning. I rushed towards the bathroom, filling up the tub with cold water. I placed her in and we splashed her. I felt her forehead. "Keep going. She's cooling down but don't stop!" I said, splashing more and more.

I don't think either one of us was prepared for her to wake up. "wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHO ARE YOU WHAT THE HELL" she screamed, panicking and thrashing.

"Calm down! You fainted and you were burning up we were just trying to help!" I yelled in defense.

"You fell on your ass and I wanted to take you to the hospital but Ian didn't want to risk you having a full on heat stroke so we tried to cool you down we swear!" Anthony screamed. Glad he had my back.

"Just- just please tell me that I'm not kidnapped or some shit I just moved here." The girl said, seeming a little bit more calm.

"No no no! You were running it looked like and you got over he heated. You were really pale and you collapsed. You felt at least 102 degrees so I couldn't just do nothing I had to help!" I tried to defend myself more.

"Alright alright chill I just need a minute to gather what happened. So I went running, I was at the twenty minute mark, and I remember seeing someone rush up to me asking if I was okay and then I was out. Right?" She asked.

"Yes that's all that happened. We were just trying to cool you down and help." Anthony remarked. She seemed more calm, but still a bit skeptical. She relaxed and realized something.

"Wait I saw you guys on TV. Yeah you were on E! Cool. Well thank you I guess. Which one of you is Ian."

"Me. I'm pretty sure." I said, she grinned.

"Well, thank you Ian. I should probably head home. But if I need anything else, here's my number. Call me sometime." She said.

"I don't even know your name." I said. Holy fuck this is so cliche.

"I'm Melanie. Call me. Thanks again, both of you." She said, climbing out of the tub.

"Ok melanie. It was great to meet you in such a cliche way." I said, helping her up.

"You too. My life loves being cliche. Thank you again. It won't go unnoticed." Melanie winked, then walked out still soaking wet. Wait was she flirting?

"You need a ride?" Anthony asked.

"Nah I live near. Bye!"

"Bye" Anthony and I said at the same time.

I heard the door close. "Dude she was so into you! Oh my god dude get with that!" Anthony said jittery.

"Shut up nothing's gonna happen she just moved here. Plus that was the most cliche way to meet someone I doubt she'll stick around. Now let's go its guinea pig time."

And with that we left, I however, was pretty fucking happy with the word cliche.