Awaken My Love

A Time To Speak

Hoseok

I watched the sun setting over the horizon. It was so peaceful. So quiet.

Little known fact: I actually enjoy the silence.

I know everyone thinks I am a social butterfly who is just happy-go-lucky all the time, but I keep things bottled up. I know I do it to keep from bringing everyone else down. I know I do, and I guess some brain witch would say I need to get it out. I probably do, but what good would it do?

I'll never go back to the family who birthed me. I'll never stop being a hybrid. And Yoongi is never coming back no matter how many feelings and emotions I drag up. No sense wallowing in the negative.

Laughing and chatter broke up my brooding and I looked up to see Jimin and Taehyung marching up to the house with a nice looking deer between them. They both looked at me and were grinning from ear to ear.

"Looks like you two have been busy."

"Oh yeah," said Jimin proudly, hoisting the pole up onto his shoulder a bit more as they stomped up the steps.

"We saw an entire herd!  They've thrived while we've been gone. Lots of good hunting to be had," said Taehyung.

I opened the door for them and after they entered, Jimin kicked it closed behind him.

I was happy to see them enjoying themselves. Yoongi and I used to do things like that when we were younger. Li always encouraged us to use our animal instincts to hunt. Yoongi was the perfect hunting partner because he was a patient, stealthy killer.

Leaning on the porch railing, I watched the last bit of the sun slowly sink below the horizon. Stars began to twinkle and the moon was beginning to replace the sunlight with moonlight.

I could hear the chatter inside and I smiled to myself. It was good to see everyone laughing again. I wanted to join in, I really did, but somehow my feet kept me rooted on the porch, basking in the calming sounds of the night.

I'm glad Namjoon let us tag along on his trip. I know he was probably looking forward to spending some time with Aster, maybe work out some wrinkles in their strange relationship.

"Hoseok?"

Speak of the devil...

I took a deep breath before turning around to face him, making sure my signature smile was firmly in place.

"Joon! What are you doing? I thought you'd be with Aster."

He came to stand beside me and we both looked out over the darkening grass.

"Hobi, are you doing okay? Sorry to jump right in with that kind of statement, but I'm checking on everyone."

I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my head. Joon and I were close in age and we always treated each other like equals. We were almost closer than Jimin and Tae.

I simply shrugged my shoulders and gave a little nod. "Yeah, I'm good."

His stare continued and I felt fidgety under the pressure of it.

"Hobi, it's okay to be sad. You know I'll always make time to listen to you if you need me."

The sincerity in his voice made my eyes sting a little.

"Really, Joon, I think I'm okay. I miss Yoongi. I miss his snark. I miss his surly attitude. I miss his friendship. His companionship."

I felt my voice breaking but I cleared my throat and swallowed my tears.