Lost Memories // Drarry

Chapter 13: Forgive Me

"You're not alone anymore," Harry says into Draco's hair. Draco hums softly. He is so tired.

Draco feels himself drifting off to sleep. His consciousness is slipping away when he hears soft words from next to him. He keeps his breathing as even as possible to maintain the appearance of being asleep as he listens to what Harry is saying.

"I don't want to be enemies anymore."

"I hated it when we fought and argued. It was all so petty. I hated when you called us names and were cruel to us. I hated when you taunted my friends and me. I hated it." Draco feels a pang in his heart. If he could go back and change it, he would.

"I understand why you acted like that. You didn't know any better." Harry sighs into Draco's hair.

"I wish I would have taken your hand in first year." Then a soft chuckle. "Although, to be fair, you were an insufferable prat. I wish I could have befriended the boy behind the mask. We could have been great friends, but... we were too young, and you were too brainwashed by your father to know any better."

"I see how you comfort Pansy when she cries. How you always clean up after yourself when you are done in the library. How you clean up after others as well. There is good in you, Draco, and I'm sorry I didn't see it before. I was an idiot," another chuckle. "We were both idiots. Too busy trying to be enemies to realize how good of friends we could have been."

"You always dress like you are going to a ball or a fancy dinner. Your hair is always perfectly done and gelled. You know...I like it when it is mussed, when the steam from the potions makes it puffy. I wonder what it feels like without the gel. Is it soft? Probably. I can feel it tickle my chin, and it seems pretty soft..." a pause. "I want to run my fingers through it. Is that bad? Maybe it is. I don't think friends do that."

Draco wonders how someone could have possibly noticed all of that. He didn't think anyone cared about him. He knew, of course, that Pansy and Blaise did, but they were sort of obligated.

A quiet sob.

"I'm so sorry, Draco. So sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I- It killed me. It felt like I was dying when I saw you bleeding out on the floor. There were so many things I wanted to say to you. So many things. I thought I would never get the chance." Draco feels his hand get squeezed softly. "I'm so glad you're alright."

Draco feels himself drifting off again, and then Harry breaks the silence.

"Remember when you were near the shrieking shack, and you thought there was a ghost throwing snowballs at you? That was me." A soft laugh. "I want to have a real snowball fight with you. I want to lay in the snow with you and laugh about everything and nothing."

"I want to play quidditch with you again. The feeling of wind in our hair and the sun on our faces as we race each other. I miss that."

"You know, I never thought I would say some of these things. I was so sure I hated you for so long. It's funny how things work out like that. To miss competing with your former enemy. Are we still enemies? I hope not. I want you to be able to trust me. I don't think I can go on with life without you in it. And I know that sounds rather corny, but...it feels true."

"I don't think I could go on without seeing you laugh. Without seeing you smile."

"I've never felt this way before, Draco. It's like all my life I have been missing something. Something that was right in front of me the entire time. And then I finally realized what I was missing, you, and then I almost ruined it. I hope I haven't ruined it. I hope you will forgive me, Draco."

Draco lays there as Harry traces circles on his hand. Warm tingles are all over Draco's skin. This whole situation has been rather odd, but Draco is so tired that he doesn't question it.