#SAVE ME ARMY || K. TH

«─── « ⋅ʚ Almost ɞ⋅ » ───»

August 7, 2019

Taehyung's POV

I didn't mean to drag her with me when I fell, but I did not regret it as Nari's eyes stared into mine, her chest pressed against my chest, she was so close I could smell her coconut shampoo mixed in with her perfume. Her eyes trailed down to my lips, I could see she was deep in thought and I wondered if she was thinking the same as I was. Did she also want to know how it would feel for our lips to touch? For them to meet in the middle and share a secret?

I stood still in fear of reading too much in between the lines, only a few seconds have passed, but to me it felt like an eternity. She leaned in closer and closer while I stood in slight fear pondering if it was the right thing to do. As I felt her breath against my lips our noses brushing softly, I decided to let go of the fear. For once it didn't matter if it was the right or wrong thing all that ran through my head was that this was what I wanted. As I went to lean in to touch her plump lips Yeontan's barking and the front door slamming shut pulled us apart like some invisible force. Was this a sign from the universe, it was not the right time to do this?

In a flash Nari was off of me and standing on the other side of the room, brushing off any dust that might have stuck on her clothes. Meanwhile, I took my time getting up from the floor and plucking up the courage to look back at her. I hoped she didn't regret that we almost kissed and if she did regret anything, it was the fact we didn't.

"I heard Nari is in town?" I heard Jimin yell from the hallway.

"Jimin-sii!" She called back to him excitedly.

"Nari you're back, it's so nice to see you! How have you been?" My friend asked as he came into the room and hugging her. If only he knew what almost happened a few seconds ago, he wouldn't have let me live it down.

"Oh, don't even get me started," she fumed, remembering the events of the last few days.

Jimin laughed and walking out of the room, "Come on, you can tell me over dinner. We bought some food."

I was left alone with my thoughts in my shared room. I hadn't noticed how rapid my breathing was as if I had run a marathon or how badly my hands were shaking.

"Tae, are you coming?" Jimin asked, poking his head into the room again.

"In a second," I whispered, trying to compose myself.

He gave me a look asking me silently if I was okay, I nodded in his direction reassuring him I was.

I wanted the kiss to happen so badly, but I asked myself if it was for the best it didn't happen. I didn't want to rush into anything and Nari had just arrived in Seoul. It's a mystery where my courage from before came from as an abundance of thoughts started flooding my mind.

I couldn't point exactly when my feelings of friendship turned into something more. From just wanting to hang out to having her close all the time. To friendly texts to constant calls. She was always on my mind somehow little things reminding me of her constantly. I was in no way sure if I was ready for a relationship, if I was willing to subject Nari to a long-distance relationship. Hell, I don't even know if she feels the same way. For all I know the almost kiss could have been because she got caught in the moment, maybe for her it did not mean the same. I was still her friend Taehyung, nothing more.

Another thing, did I trust myself to let her in completely? I think I already have after all that night at the Han river I opened up the door wide enough for her to walk in and see who I really am, all my insecurities and fears. Instead of running away or distancing herself, she embraced them and cursed those who had caused me pain.