JJ Maybank Imagines

[f] You Think He Doesn't Love You

Imagine type: fluff

Warning: not edited

———

You often felt at conflict with yourself, unable to tell whether you were exaggerating over something worth exaggerating over or simply pressing on with matters just for the sake of it.

You always thought your relationship with JJ felt rocky, skating on thin ice, but maybe it was just you. Maybe nothing was wrong and your own thinking would be the reason the relationship would fall apart so easily.

What if your worries were legitimate, though? What if you were truly so close to slipping through the cracks of ice?

Sitting by yourself at the Wreck, you waited patiently for Kie to take a break and come sit with you. You almost wished she would hurry up and come now before your thoughts overcame you again.

JJ was . . . unaffectionate, to say the least. You often found yourself having to remind you that JJ loved you, because he himself wouldn't remind you and you were sure as hell it would be a long time before he told you he loved you.

What if he didn't love you? Could that be the reason he refrained from saying it? You had said it to him before and he didn't act uncomfortably, but he never said it back.

Your head drops to your hands, feeling a headache in your temple beginning to form.

"What wrong?" Kie asks gently, tossing the cloth she was holding over on the other counter.

"Headache," you replied and the answer wasn't entirely a lie.

"Here, I'll pack you some food and you can go home and rest."

You thank Kie, but you weren't going home. You had to talk to JJ. It wasn't something you were looking forward to. If he really didn't love you, then that would be an extremely awkward conversation for the both of you.

Your steps were loud and you purposely dragged your feet over the cobblestone just to be dramatic.

Sighing, you take a deep breathe and walk towards the door of John B's home, but before you can go up the steps, you immediately turn right back around.

"Nope, not today," you whisper to yourself.

You decide to wait until tomorrow, but unfortunately the time has come sooner because JJ must've had the same idea when he meets you at the other end of the yard.

"I didn't know you were coming here," JJ says and smiles at you.

"Oh—yeah, I just came to drop off food for John B," you lie and JJ looks curiously at the take-out still in your hand. "He wasn't home."

Luckily enough, John B isn't home and you're not caught in a lie, leaving the two of you.

JJ nods slowly and walks past you, not saying another word. This was where you would usually follow him in and ask him to eat with you, but instead you make the decision to walk home.

JJ turns around, watching you walk down the yard, confused. He liked it when you forced him to eat with you. Affection was never a strong suit of his, especially because he never had much of a family to be affectionate with in the first place.

"Where are you going?" He calls after you.

"Home," you reply flatly, as if it was obvious.

This was weird, even for JJ. It was odd that you weren't by his side, smiling, and excited to plan the next beach outing or dinner date. It was odd that you would rather go home than spend time with him.

He walks up to you, eyes narrowing in.

"What's up with you?" He asks and you fight the need to roll your eyes at his tone and choice of words.

"Just a headache," you explain once more. "I think I'll just go home and eat."

"You don't want to hang out with me?" JJ wonders and you see a flash of something in his eyes, but you don't know what and it's gone too quick anyways.

"I didn't think you would want to," you reply honestly.

"Why's that?"

"You never seem to enjoy eating with me. I just thought I would give you time for yourself."

You shrug it off, switching the food bag from hand to hand and you watch JJ formulate a reply.

"I do like hanging out with you," JJ protests, and he seems genuinely upset at your words.

"I wouldn't have guessed," you scoff quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing important."

"It obviously is."

You can feel the tension between the two of you rising, but you still don't feel like arguing with JJ in front of all the neighbours and the occasional passerby.

"Do you even love me?" You finally snap, but JJ's expression doesn't change, as if he expected you to ask him this.

"Of course I do," he replies. You let out a frustrated breath, not sure whether to believe him or not.

"Sometimes I just feel like I need to tell myself you love me, when you should be the one telling me that." It sounded quite silly now that you had said it out loud and your eyes widened once you had realized what you said.

"Oh—I'm so sorry," you apologize hastily. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that at all, I should've—"

"You don't have to explain," JJ assures you, rubbing your shoulders and upper arms to calm you down. He seemed hesitant to say something, almost as if he didn't trust you.

"You can tell me anything," you say quietly and he nods.

"My father never told me he loved me," you heard him say. "When he did, it wasn't genuine. That's why I have a hard time being affectionate, but I do care about you. I just need you to know that."

It's only now that you realize JJ's face is tired and you can see the pain in his eyes from the years that had passed without a single word of love coming from his father.

"I'm sorry I—I just..." you say, ashamed. "I didn't even think about everything you had went through with your dad . . ." You run a hand through your hair, breaths increasing, but JJ continues to rub your arms.

"You had every right to be upset."

"But I shouldn't have snapped."

"C'mere," JJ mumbles and wraps his arms around you, which he hadn't done in a while. The feeling was different and JJ frowned at the way your body tensed slightly at the unfamiliarity.

He played with your hair, worried that someday he was going to lose you to someone who was better at loving than him. It was a wonder you hadn't left him already, but it would never happen.

"I love you," JJ whispered and your eyes shot open, seeing nothing but the cotton t-shirt being worn by your boyfriend.

"I love you, too."

"A lot?"

"Yeah. A lot."

———

My one smut imagine has at least 300 more reads than any of the other imagines I see you guys😎

Btw: most of my imagines are not edited so if something just does not make sense, I'm sorry you can just tell me and I'll fix it right away

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