[a] When He Uses You

13.8K 146 43
                                    

Imagine type: angst

Warning: none

———

Slamming the test on the desk, you sighed heavily, trying to keep calm. 56%?

Math was never your strongest subject, but you always tried hard. That didn't seem you be enough for your parents, though. It was never enough and that's what drove you insane.

The constant pressure and lingering feelings that you were never and would never be good enough. That was until you met JJ, though. He made you feel like you were good enough. He always had.

You don't know what you did for him to come to you. He confessed to you not long after you guys had started to hang out. It was all quite sudden, really, but you had grown quite fond of him.

You smiled at the thought, forgetting momentarily about your test. Your parents would go insane once they found out. They always did and you knew it would only get worse if you didn't pull it together.

"I don't understand. We got you a tutor and you're still behind, do you know what that says about my parenting?" Your mother had spat and she didn't even give enough attention to look at you and she scolded.

"I'm sorry, math is just hard for me. I'm trying my best," you had tried to reason.

"Well, then try harder because this is unacceptable and I will not raise an ignorant and mindless child."

You kept your head down, knowing if you said something your mother wouldn't hesitate to fight back.

It was then your father walked into the house, just coming home from work and you prayed that your mother would set this issue aside for next time. You didn't need two scoldings.

Your prayers remained unanswered, though, as your mother had taken all of three seconds to drag your father in this mess.

You shook your head at that memory.

Getting up as the bell rang, you tried to find JJ in the hallways. His locker was somewhat close to yours, just around the corner and a bit down the hall.

After collecting your own things, you concluded that JJ had most likely left with John B and Pope and you would see him later.

Looking for Kie, you walked around to the library, sure you'd find her there as she had mentioned an essay she was to complete earlier in the day.

You stopped midway when you heard a few voices coming from an empty classroom.

"How long have we got to hide?" You heard a voice and you immediately recognized it as Pope's. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, about to walk into the room, when another voice said something that stopped you in your tracks.

"Just until I know for sure that [y/n] has left. She's been on my case and it's driving me insane," you heard JJ say and you shook your head as if he could see you, denial running up and down your spine.

"Why don't you just break up with her?" A third voice rang out. John B. "We've already gotten what we needed, she got you into the archives, like, three days after you guys started talking."

"Hell, I don't know how long I could last in a fake relationship," Pope sighed.

"You can't even get in a real relationship, Pope, let's calm down," JJ muttered. You heard snickering and a slap followed by a muffled yelp.

"How have you been lasting this long?" John B questioned.

"I guess she hasn't been around guys long enough to know when they're playing," JJ said. "She's gullible—it really wasn't hard."

You hated every word that you heard and you hated even more that they were true. You'd trusted him too quickly and now look where it got you.

Humiliation began to bubble inside you, an embarrassing shade of pink rising to your cheeks and you walked away quietly before the three boys could realize you were there.

So, it was all a lie, then. You had poured everything you had into your relationship to find out it it had meant nothing to JJ. He had used you to get into the archives and you had been a fool.

You were almost out the door when you heard a few quiet footsteps and you turned back to see all three boys stopped, looking quite afraid at the sight of you.

"Oh—[y/n]—we were just about to leave," JJ stuttered quietly and you simply nodded your head and went out the door, too tired to deal with this today, but your lack of affection seem to catch JJ's attention.

He knows, you thought. He knows that I heard him talking.

"Hey, [y/n], wait!" JJ caught up with you, the other two gone.

Shit.

He gripped on your shoulder, turning you around gently. "Is, uh . . . is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you shrugged him off, suppressing the anger you felt because you really didn't need this today.

"We both know that isn't true," JJ said quietly and suddenly you felt your blood boil. His obliviousness adding to the fuel. "What's wrong?"

"What do you think?" You asked and looked into JJ's eyes, which widened slightly. He stayed silent and you contemplated just walking away, but you knew he wouldn't let you.

He refused to look away from you, as if they would convince you of how genuine he was being. "I didn't mean for it to go this far, I swear."

Looking at the ground, you played JJ's words over and over in your mind.

"What do you want me to say?" You ask softly.

"I don't—I don't know. That you'll give me another chance?"

You let out a slight scoff. "Why would I do that? I got you into the archives, you don't need anything else, do you? Unless, wait, did you want me to break you into the museum too?"

You hated to admit it, but some part of you still wanted JJ. You still liked the feeling of being so close to him, when you looked at him and he was already looking at you. You loved all of it, but you still had your pride.

"Please. I love you."

"Don—don't say that," you said and your voice shook. "I'm sorry, I can't do this right now."

JJ tried to grab your wrist, but your hand just barely escaped his and you walked off, a mixture of anger and misery coursing through you.

You were just so confused. Part of you wanted JJ to come after you, telling you he didn't mean any of it, but the other part needed him to stay away so you could figure things out.

You just needed some time.

———

Kind of surprised that I still have readers lol I feel like I'm just writing the same thing over and over again ugh

ALSO thank you for 3k reads!!!

Feel free to make requests!:)

JJ Maybank ImaginesWhere stories live. Discover now