maybe, someday

4 // order

brooklyn

in this moment i was

thankful hearts were

trapped inside our bodies

and hidden underneath

our rib cage.

if not, i’m one hundred

percent positive you

and everyone else in the

shop could hear how loud

my heart was beating.

i don’t know how easy

it was for your mouth

to be moving so

carelessly when i

mentally feared every

word between my lips

and thought in my head.

you stood so soothingly

and relaxed

while i was slowly

dying on the inside,

everything in me turning

to mush at the sound

of your voice.

you always had that

effect on me, being able

to make me melt with

just one word, that

deep and sharp tone

of your voice.

and when you had

complimented my hair

i could feel the tingles

in my cheeks signaling

a blush but forced it

away, ignoring the intense

joy i was feeling.

joy i had once felt but had

lost.

i was different then and

am different now,

and as much as me back

then would have loved

for things to be different

i couldn’t allow it.

i had built myself back up

again and i wasn’t going

to look into your eyes

and fall back down.

i refused to.

 

“what can i get you?”

my eyes darted back

up to your bright ones

before snapping back

on the doorway,

“nothing.” i could

hear you snort a

chuckle and frowned,

watching you from the

corner of my right eye.

“then what are you

doing sitting in the shop?”

you said amused.

i sighed and turned my

head, allowing my eyes

to take in yours,

“i’m meeting someone.”