(La Mémoire #1) NOSTALGIA

XVIII

XVIII
ungrateful

I reread the written script at the back of the familiar polaroid. mahalaga ka.

Until now, it never fails to drive a rush in my heartbeat. Yet beside the weird heart-tugging feeling, there is this underlying fear and frustration because I could not remember who wrote it.

Inilatag ko ang tatlong pirasong polaroid sa lamesa ng kwarto ko. Earlier this day, I got a new one. As usual, it had no proper address so I didn't know where it came from.

Nakakapagtaka dahil hanggang rito sa bahay nila Zach ay nasundan ako noon. Tinanong ko ang housekeeper na siyang nag-abot noon ngunit anito'y 'di niya rin nakita kung sino ang nag-iwan noon.

I scanned the polaroid photos I have so far. The first captured the brown oxford shoes, the second captured a birthday card with a sunflower, and the last was a photo of a lantern. I wonder what these meant.

"Lia!" Naistorbo ang pagtingin ko doon ng boses ni Linn.

Mabilis kong itinagong muli ang mga litrato sa drawer.

"Hey!" Linn was all smiles when she finally entered my room.

"Ano'ng sinasabi mong magpapatulong kang tumingin ng mga condo ngayon? Are you insane?"

Umiling ako.

Speaking of condo, my conversation with Stav yesterday replayed in my mind. He asked me to stay in his unit at QC which of course, I firmly declined.

Mabuti na lang at hindi na niya iyon ipinilit. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako lang ang na-weweirduhan sa offer niyang iyon at parang wala lang iyon sa kaniya.

"I'm not, Linn. Hintayin mo ako, magbibihis lang ako."

I headed to my walk-in closet and picked up some casual cropped top and baggy jeans. Pagbalik ko sa kwarto, naabutan kong may kausap sa cellphone si Linn.

"Who was that?"

"Ah, si Stav." Linn said casually.

Guilt clouded my chest. If I'm not mistaken, the last time I heard Stav from her, they were still going out. Hindi ko pa nasasabi kay Linn ang mga pinagagagawa ni Stav.

I haven't told her he told me he liked me-which of course is just one of his stupid games. I haven't told her he's been driving me to my modelling appointments too.

"Ano'ng sabi?"

"He asked me to have dinner tonight."

Kumuyom ang panga ko habang nakaharap sa full length mirror ko. That asshole. I will surely confront him the next time we meet.

Makikipag-dinner date siya sa kaibigan ko. That means they are still dating. Fuck. I can't believe he really played with us.

"Oh, pumayag ka?"

"Oo naman. Bakit hindi?"

I can't believe Stav had the time to see me and my best friend consequently. He is truly the personification of men are trash.

We went about our day and continued my agenda. Sinamahan ako ni Linn sa mga prospect kong rental unit. To be fair, I did like all of the studio-type units but none of them fit in my budget.

"I'm never gonna find a place to live." Halos maiyak ako nang magpasya kaming maglunch na sa kalapit na restaurant.

Napuntahan na namin ang lahat ng gusto ko pero nasisiguro kong hindi ko kakayaning bayaran ang mga iyon.