(La Mémoire #1) NOSTALGIA

XXXV

XXXV
Summer Six

Maagang nagsisimula ang araw sa mansiyon ng mga Luisiana. Ngunit abala man ang lahat ay wala iyong pagmamadali. It's like they had all the time in the world that they do everything sedentarily.

Patapos na ang Mayo at pangatlong araw ko na sa mansiyon. On my first day here, I got so scared at my mother's rage. Tumakas ako sa mansiyon at aksidentang nakilala ang isang batang lalaki.

Dumako ang mga mata ko sa ilalim ng lamesa. 

Below was the brown shoes of that boy from a day ago. Pinahiram niya sa akin iyon dahil wala akong sapin sa paa nang matagpuan niya. Hindi ko alam ang pangalan niya o kung saan siya nakatira kaya hindi ko alam kung paano iyon isasauli.

Naputol ang pagmumuni-muni ko nang maulinagan ang pagtawag sa akin ng mayordomang si Minerva. 

Isang kasambahay ang sumalubong sa akin sa hapag. Maya-maya pa ay dinaluhan na kami ng aking Mama. Her long night gown grazed the marbled floor along with the sway of her raven hair. 

"Zhalia, halika, kakausapin kita." Inabot niya ang kamay ko't walang pahintulot akong dinala sa kaniyang silid.

Umupo ito sa gilid ng kaniyang kama. The drapes of her Victorian windows were all closed, making the room dim. But even in the dark, I noticed her red-rimmed eyes and the dark circles that surround them. 

"Inumin mo ito." Inabot niya sa akin ang isang tableta. 

Nagtataka ko iyong tinignan. 

"It's a vitamin, love." She responded sweetly to end my reluctance. 

Alangan man ay tinanggap ko iyon. Pansin ko ang sandaling pagkahilo at panghihina ko sa tuwing iniinom iyon. Nang mga sumunod na araw ay patuloy niya pa rin akong pinaiinom noon hanggang sa nagustuhan ko na rin iyon. The pill felt like magic which gives me really beautiful dreams. 

Until one night, mom invited me in her room once again. Malalim na ang gabi at nababalot na ng dilim ang mansiyon.

Mom's bedroom was covered in dark blue shadows from the moonlight beaming in her white curtains. The room was comparable to a scene in horror movies. The bed sheets were an ocean of mess and there are shattered pieces of wine glass in the floor. 

From her small vanity table, she welcomed me with her ghostly-white skin, pale lips and swollen eyes. Just like how she was these days, she is completely different. Gone was her warmth and familiarity. It was as if life was drained out of her and she looked nothing but a living corpse. 

I know mom is sick. My auntie has told me about that. They said it was depression due to her failed marriage with my father. But I was never scared of her until now.

"Saan ka nanggaling?" Her deathly voiced echoed like a witch's spell.

"Mama, I was in my room." 

"Earlier, Zhalia." 

Mabagal itong naglakad patungo sa akin. Dahan-dahan naman akong napahakbang paatras. 

"I was in the azucarera."

"Even the day ago?" 

Napagtanto kong ang tinutukoy niya ay ang unang araw ko rito sa Claveria, iyong tumakas ako't nakilala ko iyong batang lalaki. 

"I was in the farm too."

"Ang sabi ko dito ka lang, hindi ba? Sasamahan mo ako." The restrained anger in her tone sent shivers in my spine. 

I began to step more backwards, waiting for the right time to escape. But mom had already kneeled infront of me and caged me in her arms. Masiyadong mahigpit ang yakap niya hanggang sa hindi na ako nakakahinga.