Peter Parker/Tom Holland Imagines

Almost - Peter Parker

A/n: this is based both on the original Let Her Go by Passengers and on the rewrite I linked above (minus the part where she talks about cheating because our beloved Peter would never do that)

Cause u only need my hands when you feel alone
You're never picking up when I call your phone
You say you'll always love me but u let me go
Why'd you let me go

I never saw it coming from your eyes
 They lit up so different when I came into your life
 But I watched them fade every single night 

 I know that you're regretting everything
 Do you think of me right before you go to sleep? 
Oh, do you miss what we had or are you too busy? 

Y/n
Looking out of the corner of her eyes, Y/n stole a quick glance at Peter, and his shattered state of well-being was enough to break her heart. Well, break it more than he already had. 

It'd had been three weeks since Peter dumped Y/n, tossed her away like a piece of trash he no longer needed, and honestly, Y/n wasn't sure how she felt about it. She'd truly loved Peter with all her heart, and if she was being honest with herself, she still did. She knew if Peter came and talked to her she would run back to him, and she truly didn't know if that was for better or for worse.

At the beginning of their relationship, everything was perfect. Peter treated her amazingly. She was happy, he was happy, and they were both absolutely infatuated with each other. Anybody could tell just by the way Y/n looked at her that it was love, and they could tell by the way Peter looked at her (when she wasn't looking back, might I add) that the feeling was mutual. 

Then, things started to change. Peter was constantly disappearing, never telling her where he was going, standing up their dates without so much as an "I'm sorry" text. He wouldn't pick up her calls or answer texts for days on end if she texted him on the weekends. When they started dating, Peter insisted on walking her home every day to make sure she was safe, but he'd stopped doing that too.

Cause u only need my hands when you feel alone
 You're never picking up when I call your phone
You say you'll always love me but u let me go
 Why'd you let me go

Eventually, Y/n couldn't put up with it anymore. She knew the Stark Internship kept Peter busy and she understood that. She was happy that Peter was doing something that made him so happy, and she was so, so, so proud of him. But Y/n was a human. She got sad, she got lonely. Yes, she understood that Peter was busy, but was he so busy the only times he could be bothered to talk to his own girlfriend were during lunch and the chemistry class they had together? 

So, after two months of practically being ignored by her boyfriend, she told Peter everything during lunch. She told him how much she missed him, how lonely she felt. She told Peter how it felt like she wasn't even worth his time anymore, that he was treating her like a coatrack. How, lately, they were only a couple when it was convenient for Peter. 

If Peter called, whatever he needed, Y/n dropped everything and came immediately, but when y/n needed something, it wasn't important. It didn't matter. When she called him balling her eyes out in the middle of the night because her dog got hit by a car, he didn't even answer. When she was the one sitting in the emergency vet office, he didn't even reply to her texts. And when she was giving the earth-shattering news that her dog died? Peter didn't even show up. He didn't show up, he didn't call, nothing. Radio silence for three days straight. 

The worst part of all? When she voiced these thoughts to Peter, these thoughts that had been tearing her up inside for months, all Peter did was confirm her feelings. Right then and there, in the middle of the cafeteria, in front of MJ, in front of Ned, in front of everybody, Peter Parker broke Y/n Y/l/n's heart for the first time in her life, and there her broken heart lay scattered across the floor for all of Midtown High to see.

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You'll tell me that it's always been me all along.
 You'll leave me in the dust while you sing your song
 Why'd you let me go?

Peter
Peter Benjamin Parker had felt like nothing but an actual pile of crap for three weeks. He wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, and when May asked him what was wrong, he couldn't bring himself to tell her he'd let Y/n go, so he just stood there, staring at his aunt with sad, hollow eyes. 

Peter didn't want to break up with Y/n. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do, but after listening to everything she had to say, everything that had been worrying her for the last two months, there was no denying she was right. He had been distant. With Vulture attacking and everything going on, he had no choice. 

It's not like he didn't want to tell her everything right then and there when she looked up at him with such a broken expression and mumbled "Why?" with tears in her eyes, but he couldn't. Telling Y/n meant putting her in danger, at risk to Vulture and any other psychopath with alien tech that was after him. So he dumped her, told her she was right, that he was being distant. 

Y/n Y/l/n was a beautifully emotional person. You could hear the smile in her voice when she was happy and you could hear the pain in her voice when she was sad. She had the power to light up an entire room or make everyone's walls crack with just the sound of her voice; and so, when Peter broke up with her, you didn't even have to look at her to feel her heart break into a million little pieces. If you were close enough to her, to hear her whisper "Why?" your heart would shatter for her.

Y/n wore her heart on her sleeve, which only made Peter feel worse. 

He knew how amazing Y/n was when they were dating, but he didn't realize how truly lucky he was to have had her until she was gone. Every day he saw Y/n at school he wanted to run up to her and tell her everything and how sorry he was. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, hug her and never let go again, but he stopped himself every time, because every time he saw Y/n, she was a little bit happier.

Day by day he watched her put the pieces back together. Her eyes would be a little less red, her smile a little more real, and her heart a little more whole. She'd start answering questions in class and talk to people again. She started cracking her jokes and cartwheeling across the field in gym. Every day Peter watched Y/n pick up the broken pieces of her heart, and every day his heart broke a little bit more.

Y/n
So when Y/n stole her glace at Peter and saw how broken he was, she almost went up and talked to him after class. His sad, sleepy eyes, the bags under his head, uncombed hair, saggy shoulders, and the fact that she could read his heart, Y/n knew how broken Peter was. She could tell he regretted what he did, she could tell he missed her. She could tell it was breaking him and it was almost enough to make her say something. Almost.

Even though he'd shattered her heart, Y/n still loved Peter. She wanted nothing more than to be his again, to run into his arms and tell him it was all going to be ok. If Peter were the one to reach out, she would. The heartache at looking at how broken he was, was almost enough to make her reach out to him first.

As much as she looked like she was putting herself back together, Y/n was still destroyed on the inside. Her heart was still shattered and she still cried every night. She was just hiding it better now, that was all. The fear of handing her heart back to Peter, only to have him leave her in the dust and shatter her again, was what made Y/n brush past Peter's desk after class without so much as glancing back at him.

A/N: Ok, two things. 
1) I just listened to Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo and HOLY COW SIS IS TALENTED
2) Do you guys want a part two to this?