Herophine: Second Chances

Chapter 14

Jo's POV:

I know exactly who's there. Three knocks is Hero's way of letting me know he's just on the other side. Before I open the door, I take a deep breath and unlock both locks, one at a time. I slowly open the door to see him standing there, arms folded in front of him.

"May I come in? Please?" His voice is quiet and his eyes wide. He probably didn't think I'd answer.

I motion for him to step inside, closing the door behind him. He waits to see what my next move will be, standing still just inside the door and I turn my back to him and make my way to the couch.

"I know you're upset, but can you please hear me out?" He asks.

"Fine," I say as my eyes study the floor in front of me.

"First, I want to apologize for raising my voice at you last night. I was so caught off guard by the whole thing and I didn't mean for things to escalate." Hero says as he slowly moves closer to where I am sitting.

"You were caught off guard? Hero, I was the one caught off guard last night. That girl calling you? Who is she?" I look up at him. His face looks defeated and I don't even know if I want to hear his answer to my question.

He runs his hands through his brown hair, looking up towards the ceiling while doing so. It takes him a moment, but eventually I get what I asked for.

"Vivian is someone I met this spring in Paris. She was walking in fashion week the same time I was."

"So, what is she then, Hero? Your girlfriend you didn't want to tell me about?" My tone is sharp.

"She's not my girlfriend." He interrupts.

"Then why is she calling and texting and saying she missed you?!" I can feel my pulse rising but try my best to keep my voice lowered.

"Jo... she had been trying to get ahold of me for a couple days and..." he says, the words coming out jumbled.

"You've slept with her, haven't you?" I get straight to the point. I study Hero's face as his eyes are overcome with sadness. I already know the answer. He wouldn't look like this if he hadn't.

"How many times?" I continue to ask. I don't sense any tears coming...yet. Maybe I cried them all out last night. I just want answers.

"A few. Over the span of a few months," Hero says, his eyes now looking at the floor.

"And when was the last time, Hero?"

"Before I came to Georgia." How? How could he do this to me?

"So, you sleep with 'Vivian', hop on a plane, land, and have sex with me in the same night?" I can't see what my own face looks like, but by the condescending tone of my voice I imagine it's reflecting that well.

"I didn't sleep with her the same day, Jo. It was like three days before I left to come here. Do you really think I would just use you like that?!" Hero raises his eyes to meet mine, piercing into me. They are no longer full of defeat like before, they are angry and confused.

"I don't know what to think, Hero! Here I am, practically throwing myself at you time and time again since we've been here. You had me believing that MAYBE you feel the same way as I do about you..." I can feel the tears beginning to rise from inside my throat, and before I can say anymore, Hero interrupts me again.

"You want to know how I feel about you, Jo?!" He yells. I wipe away a tear that has made its' way down my cheek with the sleeve of my shirt and listen quietly as he begins again, still yelling.

"You want me to tell you how I'm so fucking in love with you that it physically makes me sick to my stomach because I don't even know how to comprehend it?! That I've loved you for the last two years but didn't ever say it because I didn't think you'd feel the same?! That the few times Vivian and I did sleep together, it never even compared to what I have felt when I'm with you?! How about how I have to tell myself constantly that I'm fucking delusional to think that maybe if I just let you know that I love you we never have to say goodbye again because I can't stand being apart from you!"

Hero's been pacing the entire time he's spoken. He seems out of breath once he's said everything he needs to, and more tears have filled my own eyes, along with his.

"That's how I feel about you, Jo." Hero rubs his hands over his face as I wipe more tears from my cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper.

"I guess I just didn't know how. I would never do anything to hurt you. I was never in a relationship or even considering a relationship with Vivian. I was lonely, Jo. You and I hadn't spoken in months and I guess I just tried to move on in some sort of fucked up way." Hero sits next to me on the couch, his body on the edge of the cushion.

"I told myself when I agreed to come back here and film again that if what you and I had was real, like I hoped it was, I wouldn't punish myself by not letting things take their course. When I saw you in the bar that first night, I can't even explain what I felt. I missed you so much and to see you again...I fell in love all over again." Hero turns slightly to face me, taking my hands into his own, his voice much softer now.

"Me too," I whisper, not ready to make eye contact just yet. "I love you too."

Hero gently kisses my temple, his arm wrapped around me and I lean in so that I'm resting against his chest. I can feel his heart racing underneath his shirt.

"I was hoping you would say that," he says as he exhales a large breath, his left hand resting on the top of my head.

"This wasn't exactly how I imagined telling you for the first time out loud," he says. There's a hint of laughter in his words.

"I'm sorry." His tone much more serious, again.

I raise my head, looking into his eyes, and apologize as well.