its not like i like you

hanging from a cliff

catras POV

Now, wrong timing has got to be the worst things to exist on this planet.

I question, why has the universe put me at this place at this time on this day?

If I had just decided to do something else, my eyes wouldn't have been able to perceive the sight in front of me.

my friend,

the girl I have started to like

on the same bed together

with minimal clothing.

as I enter the room they move around covering themselves up. I stood there not even being able to produce a sound.

"ohh....catra! we were in the middle of something, great timing" mermista finally says while adora stays silent

of course mermista doesn't realise this situation, she doesn't know what adora and I have done, and I know she doesn't know!

so why was I so mad?

perhaps it was because I was clinging onto this false hope that adora had also felt the same way about me, I thought we were doing so well. Of course she wouldn't like me! catra you idiot, I'm just a troublemaker to her.

she definitely understood how different we were, she probably did all that with me out of curiosity.

"catra? you just gonna stand there" mermista says

I clench my fist.

"don't worry, I understand, I'll leave you two to it" I grab everything and walk off

"catra wait! you can stay!" I hear adora calling out to me

I turn back and glare at her.

"I'm fine" and slam the door.

I run off, I hate this feeling. Why did it have to be her?

did she feel nothing for me? when we first went out, the times we kissed, the times where it was just us two together?

I know, it was nothing. She doesn't even know about my feelings and she's allowed to do things like that! I was definitely overreacting.

I had to somehow come to terms that adora and I could never be like that.

I found myself at the door of scorpias and perfumas room, I hesitate for a second.

that's right! scorpia doesn't know anything too... gah whatever!

knock knock

perfuma opens the door.

"catra! you're here?...scorpia, catras here" she calls out

"c-catra?! I'm coming" I hear scorpia say from the back

"I'll go to the garden for some fresh air" perfuma says leaving

"catra.. w-what are you doing here?" scorpia asks letting me in

"I just wanted... to see you.. I don't really wanna be at my hotel room right now" I say rubbing my arm trying not to think about her.

scorpia stands staring down at me, practically towering over me. She seems to examine me closely.

"that's fine! you can be with me! we're friends after all"

"yeah..." I sit on her bed, the room smelt like flowers probably due to perfuma.

"scorpia" I say

"yes catra?!" scorpia responds while making me a cup of coffee

"have you ever liked someone and they didn't like you back?" I ask, I want to know what scorpia thought.

but the reaction I received was scorpia dropping the spoon and minutes of silence, maybe I hit a nerve.

"I have" she finally says

"what did you do about it?"

"I'm going to make them like me! if I try hard enough then maybe..."

this is the first time I heard scorpia talk about someone she liked.

"I have to at least try... I really like them.. a lot" she quietly says, I watch as her ears go red

"make them like you huh?" I say talking to myself

so I just have to convey my feelings for adora? but that's so hard.

"why do you ask catra?"

"no reason, good luck though!" I say to her, the one she likes is probably perfuma considering how much time they spend together.

cute, good on you scorpia!

"catra... you like someone right?" she suddenly asks and it leaves me speechless for a few seconds

"no.... I don't, I thought I did but I was wrong" I lied a bit but it wasn't that much of a lie right?

"really?" scorpias eyes widen in shock

"yeah.." I suddenly felt a heavy feeling in my stomach after that.

she walks over to me pushing me onto the bed, leaving me bewildered.

"what are you doing?" I ask

"catra- i- you see-" she begins to stutter

"spit it out already"

"uh- nothing, I was just going to say if you need anything, I'll be here" she gently gets off me

what an odd way to tell me that

time passes and scorpias asleep on the bed while I'm out on the balcony, having a smoke before getting ready for the party. It felt like adora was standing next to me, just like the time I took her to my apartment, the cool breeze against my skin had felt the same from that night.

I laugh at how I was genuinely having fun when I was with her

I inhale the last of my cigarette feeling the burning sensation in my throat and exhaling,

just like my cigarette, it had come to an end huh?