In The Mind of a Zulu Wife Book 2

Chapter 29

2 months later

Sandiso is having a hard time with the passing of his dad and that has made things a bit difficult between. I am trying to be there for him but he keeps pushing me away. I don't know what to do anymore, when I ask him what's the matter he just says, he is protecting me. Protecting me from what? I wont give up on him, I just need him back, I want my husband back. I get that he is grieving and it seems he is struggling to deal with everything. He moved out a month ago he just took some of his things and left. He said he wanted a breather I let him be because people grieve differently but now I am tired of waiting for him to come back. I found him through his brothers. He went to a farm he and his dad bought, I have never been there but I am going there now and I am not going home without him.

The place is a farm and the road is at its worst, they are really bad this place is far from everyone and everything and I doubt there is reception in this place. I finally spot a house there it's a huge house that is a cape dutch style. I guess this is it, The place looks like it was owned by boers the design of the house says it all. I park there and he is sitting with some older men and they are laughing and having a good time I guess. They look at me as I get out of the car and he doesn't look impressed. They greet me and I greet back, I don't greet him I just walk into the house and the furniture is surprisingly in good shape and the house is clean Sandiso is always like that he is sort of a neat freak, so I am not surprised I take my bags into what I assume is where he sleeps.

The room smells of weed and nicotine, mhh I didn't know he smoked. This house and the way things are arranged tell me there is a womans' touch here. I place my bags on his bed and I seat and I was right there is no network here. I am very hungry I left home early because I really didn't know where I was going. Its really hot here, and its midday so I guess its one of those places where it gets extremely hot.

He stands by the door looking at me silently. I look at him and I start to unpack my clothes I am here to stay, and I will leave when he leaves. He can take a break from everyone but not me, I promised to never leave him and right now he needs me, and I will be here till he decides he has had enough of this place. I cant have a husband who wants a break from me. I am not doing that. He clears his throat. "Nobuntu what are you doing?" He asks. "I am unpacking." I say. "No I mean what are you doing here?" He asks again. He has lost weight well I may need to cook here. "I am here to be with be with you." I say.

He takes a deep breath. "Okay." He says then leaves. "Soso where can I get fresh veggies?" I ask. "I will bring them what kind of veggies are you looking for?" He asks. I want to make something simple and quick. "Doesn't matter anything that is quick to make" I say and he nods and leaves. There is no mealie meal here but there is flour so I can make steamed bread. I start preparing and he comes with the veggies and places them on the kitchen counter he goes out again. I prepare beef stew with steamed bread. I am done preparing the food and he is outside with one of the men who were here. They are having a great laugh. I walk towards them they keep quiet as I get closer.

" Lunch is ready are you coming or?" I ask him he looks like he is deciding. "Okay we will be there now now." He says okay he said we he is including the man he is with. I dish up for him and the man, and they enter the house just as I finished dishing up. He still doesn't look at me, I feel like he is mad at me somehow and I don't get why. "Oh Jobe this is my wife. MaZondi this is Bab'Sthole he was the one in charge of the farm, since I am not here most of the time. " He says explaining the stranger in the kitchen. We eat silently with jokes here and there.

A woman comes in she is carrying groceries and that somehow brightens up his smile. She a tiny lady short and petite. She is beautiful she has dreads that are freshly styled. She is light in completion. She looks at me and surely she doesn't know who I am. "Oh Hlomuka you didn't tell me we would have a visitor." She says. "Oh she didn't say she was coming I would have let you know. Hlengiwe that's my wife Buntu." He says introducing the lady standing before us she seems shocked by the introduction and I am not shaken, or shocked I kind of knew there is a womans' touch in this house I have learnt not to jump into any conclusions.

She asks to speak to him in private and he follows behind her. "You know I am shocked to see that he is married, he never talks about his life where he come from. Its good to see that he has a wife. A man like him isn't supposed to be alone he is in too much pain. " The man says. "Yeah he lost his father recently, so its been really hard for him." I say. "Huh?"  He says. I just nod my heart is aching to hear what he and that woman are talking about. "Thank you for the food it was really fantastic." He says and stands up, just then Sandiso appears, he walks him out and the lady also appears now she stares at me weirdly. She goes to one of the bedrooms. 

Sandiso came back and I am in the master bedroom he stands at the door his hands in his pockets. "How long are you planning to stay here?" He asks. "You want to get rid of me already? I will be here for as long as it takes to get you to go home our kids miss you, I miss you. I am here to help you get back on your feet, and I am not leaving without you. " I say. He looks surprised. "I didn't know that we are at that stage of taking off our rings." I say looking at his ring finger. What the hell is going with Sandiso? "I told you I needed a break" He says. He has been avoiding looking at me or rather he avoided any eye contact, he is hiding something.

I am not looking to fight but I think I might as well. "You needed a break from me? I am your wife, so wena you just take breaks when you feel like it? You remove your wedding ring, you keep your marriage a secret. I didn't ask you to marry me. You now want a break from me.  You remember that night I promised you to never leave you. I meant it and we are going to make this work. You said to me you wanted a break I gave you a month break, so now I am here to take you home with me. Pushing me away wont help you in any way because I am going to be here like an annoying mosquito." I say.

He looks at me then smiles, first time I see him smiling since I got here. "I think I like this Buntu who is bossy, I knew you had it in you when I married you." He says he thinks all this is a joke. I don't smile back. "The day you left you said to me, you are going away because you dont want to hurt me or the kids. What does that mean?" I ask. For the first time since we started talking he makes eye contact. "When I am hurting I have a tendency of hurting the people I love, and I dont want to hurt you, I left because I knew sooner than later I was going to hurt you so I thought it was best I get some alone time." He says. "You should have spoken to me about that, before you left me.  Why here?" 

"I am sorry I just wanted to be in a place where no one really knows me, a place where I wont get any sad faces of people feeling sorry for me and this was the perfect place for me to do that, It's the last thing bought with my dad. He wanted to go into the farming industry so we bought this place we had big dreams for it and I want them to come true." He is wearing his ring on his neck like a necklace he takes it out and gives it to me. "I was wrong for taking it out so please." I take it and I place it on his ring finger. He leans in to kiss me, but we are not done here.

"You don't get to do that, and nothing gives you the right to take off your ring,  unless you are hiding it from someone.  Who is that woman?" I ask. Moving away from him. "Don't worry about her." When he says this it worries me. "I do worry about her, what is she doing here and it looks like she lives here what's going on here and don't you dare lie to me." I say. He rubs his head he takes a deep breath. "She works here, she was the one taking care of the house." He says. It feels incomplete. 

"We both know that's incomplete. " I say. He takes a deep breath. "It was a mistake, that never should have happened. It was once I swear. I am sorry ." He apologizes.  One thing I love about him is his inability to lie when I confront him. But wow just wow.  I clap my hands , "And that's supposed to make me feel better F**k you Sandiso." I say and I push him out of the room and I close the door on him, somehow I am not hurt as I thought I would be. I am not even angry. Okay no I am fuming. I am angry I want him to hurt him, I want to make him feel what I am feeling right now. He promised me never to do that and he promised over and over again. I guess my worst fear has finally come true.