In The Mind of a Zulu Wife Book 2

Chapter 30

I am not okay, I am not coping, I don't know what to do with myself. How do I forgive someone who knew how I felt about cheating. I told him that if he ever does something like this I will leave him. So yeah we went back to Durban together in separate cars and the kids were so happy to see him they celebrated and he spent time with them in an attempt to avoid me. Its been a week since I found out and I swear I will kill him because he betrayed me, he betrayed me after promising he would never do that. I remember him saying to me he would 'rather die first than cheat on me' Yep so I guess he forgot to die when he cheated on me.

I am scared of my own thoughts at night, we still sleep in the same bed I find myself waking up in the middle of the night just to watch him sleep and think of all the ways I will kill him. I have stood over his sleep body numerous times with a pillow in my hands and think I should end it, but then knowing he is stronger than me isn't helpful because I always imagine he will just catch me in the in the act. I cry a lot of times at night when he cant hear me. Siya did this and I trusted him now Sandiso is doing the same thing to me. I don't know maybe I am truly not enough for any man. He is right here sleeping next to me. I don't know what to do, but one thing I do know is that I want to get away from here.

F**k it I am leaving. I go to my closet I pack a handful of my clothes, my ID and my drivers license I take my card that he knows nothing about he incase he tries to track me. I request an uber I havent used any of these since I got married. I am going to be taking a taxi to lord knows where as long as I will be far from here. The uber drops me off at the nearest taxi rank  its still dark but the sun is starting to rise. I wait here with just a sports bag with my hand bag. The taxis start passing by and I am still undecided on where I want to go. I ask around for taxis to Ermelo, when I am directed to where I should go, I get in the taxi and I seat in the front seat.

I just ask to pay when we get to the nearest garage where I will withdraw cash to pay for this trip and thank God he agreed. He is such a talkative person and very funny he comments about every other mistake that happens on the road made by the other drivers. He tells me about how much he loves his wife and that I remind him of his wife. Its cute that there are men who still love their wives like this. We get to the garage and I pay him as promised. The drive took more than 5 hours to get to Ermelo. I am tired and I still don't know where I am going. I take the only familiar route in Mpumalanga and that would be going to my dad's homestead, and I take a taxi that takes me there and that took me another 2 hours.

I have relatives there but I cant stay here for much longer Sandiso would figure it out soon. I don't want him to find me I just want to be alone, and away from him. The walk to the house is so long, a car hoots from behind me. I look back and its Nkazimulo and wife, I cant seem to remember her name I think its Nomvula is it? "MaZondi, how are you?" He asks. "I am well and yourself?" I am well. "You are going home?" He asks. "Yeah I am." I answer and they offer to drive me home I definitely am not going to refuse. Its great seeing that they now have a car it's a nice double cab Isuzu. "Nomvelo and I are here for a just a day we now have a house in fernie, its in one of the villages a bit far from here, we would bake something for you since you helped us out that day." Nkazi says. " What brings you back here?" Nomvelo asks. "I am running from my problems well I am running from my husband." I say. I don't know why I said that.

"You can come with us to fernie its far from here, and we could use some visitors there." She says, but Nkazi is a bit uneasy about this, but he agrees anyway. Well I definitely am going with them because here Sandiso will find me and convince me to go home with him. They leave me at the gate and it looks like no one is home. I wonder where everyone went I look for the house key. Its where they always put it and I go straight to the bathroom I bath myself and change into comfortable clothing.