How Do I Say I Love You?

I messed things up💚

For the first time in a while, I didn't have any nightmares. There wasn't a split second where I remembered that night. I was safe, my mind warmed. The anxiety in me died down for the night, feeling like a cool rain after days of scalding heat.

I was quick to get up and head down to the bathrooms, a pile of clothes in hand, since I hadn't changed out of my workout clothes and I didn't shower the night before. I stunk to high heaven, the smell of burned sugar nauseatingly strong. I took a good long shower, thankful that it was Saturday and that everyone else would be sleeping in, except for Glasses, of course.

Once I finally felt clean, I hurried to dry off and get dressed. I'd brought a clean pair of clothes as well as my roll of face tape, but forgot to bring my socks. A bit disgruntled, I changed into the clean clothes and put on my slippers, tossing the dirty pair into my assigned laundry basket.

I went to my sink, beginning to brush my teeth, eyes avoiding the mirror, since I didn't want to see my face. Once I finished, I dried my hair with my towel as best as I could, using my hands to get it fully dry. I didn't just straight up ignite my hands, but instead heated them up enough to vaporize the dampness left over.

Then i carefully peeled off the tape holding the tube to my face, eyeing the red mark left behind. I needed to let it rest for a bit, but i didn't feel like sitting there for an hour. Cutting a good enough sized piece of tape, I reapplied the new tape to my face, making sure that it was angled right.

Stuffing the roll of tape back in my pocket, I put my towel back and put on my slippers.

Heading back upstairs to my room, I passed Octopus and Bird Brain on my way, noticing a very awkward closeness they had as the walked. I shook it off, going into my dorm and sitting at my desk. My notebooks were already open from the day before, though I had forgot what I was supposed to be studying.

With a grunt, I clenched my fists. Exams began on Monday and I had to get a top score. I wouldn't accept anything else. I wouldn't be able to sleep in over the winter break if I didn't. Scanning over my notes, I tried to remember what I was doing the night prior. Was it studying the formulas or practicing my English?

Running a hand through my hair, I groaned. I couldn't remember anything much less did I have the motivation to do anything. I wanted to escape everything on a mountain hike and come back with everything fixed. That was how it always worked out.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

I jolted out of my chair, hands open and ready to let off a few blasts. My breath quickened, I was surprised that anyone was awake, besides Glasses, Octopus, Bird Brains, and myself.

"Kacchan, open the door! We need to talk!"

Why the hell was Deku here? If anyone was asleep, he should have been. After every one of his reactions, he was always sluggish and it took him a few days to get back to normal. Once, he slept for a good two days and was still sleepy when he woke up.

I slammed my hand on my desk, standing up, my lips drawn in a tight line. I really didn't want to see him right now, since all I could think about was exams and my strong desire to escape everything.

Opening my door, I shut my eyes and asked, "Why are you here? What do you want?" He practically shoved the used EpiPen in my face and asked quite angrily, " Did you use this?! I found it on my nightstand and the cap was off! The safety cover is on!"

Raising an eyebrow, I looked him dead in the eye and nodded, watching his face explode with anger. Was he actually this stubborn that he would get angry at me for doing something good? I caught him before he spoke and challenged, "I had to use it cause you were fucking dying, you idiot! What, did you want me to let you suffocate?!"