How Do I Say I Love You?

Am I sick?

I laid on the floor for what seemed like hours, shivering. I was perpetually cold even though it was warm in the room. My face was damp with salty tears and my lungs burned from crying.

I guess after a while of crying, you remember how much it hurts to cry.

I heard a distant banging, hardly noticing it. "Katsuki! Are you okay? I got your call." I felt as though he wasn't coming and this was just my mind tricking me. I held my hands over my ears tightly.

Well I did, until I felt strong hands scoop me up. "Huh?" Izuku was right in front of me, large tears welling up in his eyes, green tufts of hair curling around his soft cheeks, rosy lips that were tugged into a frown.

I reached up to touch him, my fingers brushing his cheek. I felt the electric shock at the touch and I knew this was real. I flung myself onto him, wrapping my arms around his back. "Izuku! What did I do?" I sounded like a sobbing five year old, trying to get out my thoughts.

His face suddenly changed, his once grim expression now one of love and empathy. He pulled me in a tight hug and said, "You had a nightmare. I can't tell you anything else right now. You need to calm down." I dug my fingers into his shirt, pulling at it as I tried to remember how to breathe.

I nodded, drawing in deep breaths and then coughing it back out. Izuku held my head in his hands and said, "You had a nightmare and woke up screaming. You then began to...harm yourself on the wall...and then Aizawa-Sensei brought you to the hospital."

I could feel him cringe at the mention of what I did. The pieces started to come together.

And then I realized that he had to watch all of it. He has to see that everytime he sees me. Like a scratched disc that plays on repeat over and over and over again. A never ending movie.

I pulled my hands to my chest, feeling a sharp pain as though I had been frozen from the inside. "Oh my...." My chest ached even more and my eyes stung as tears welled up once more.

"I'm sorry Izuku...."

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When Aizawa-Sensei drove the two of us back to the dorms, I was glad to be back in my own room and in my own bed. It felt as though I had been gone for ages. But my room said the opposite. As I sat down on my bed, I saw how clean it was.

It was cleaner than ever, not even a speck of dust on anything. My bed was made and even my dirty laundry was washed and put away. I even found that my notebooks and textbooks had been put back in my bookbag.

Did Izuku do this?

I could hardly stand to face him again after I found out what I had done. I never wanted to hurt him again but I guess that I failed to do even that.

A knock on my door woke me from my thoughts. "Just a second!" I hurried to the door and opened it to see Aizawa-Sensei. As soon as he saw me, I could see him flinch slightly, as though he remembered something awful.

Aizawa's pov

As soon as I laid my eyes upon the boy, I cringed, seeing his bloody face again.

That night, I heard someone screaming upstairs in the students rooms. I started running, hearing everyone else wake up and go to the hall. I passed the students as I came upon the room in which a student was screaming.

It was Midoriya's room. I hoped that nothing too bad was going on until I opened the door. I found the poor boy kneeling on his bed with someone in his arms. His face and hands were bloodied, from what looked like a spatter of blood.

My eyes traveled down to the other kid and I was met with a horrific sight. Bakugo's head was limply hanging back, blood steadily flowing out of a large gash on his forehead. His eyes were rolled back into his head and his mouth was gaping open. He was barely recognizable. Even his hands were bloodied except the blood came from his knuckles which were severely damaged.

I quickly pushed the other curious students away and went over to Midoriya.

He started to sob, muttering words I didn't understand. I noticed a large red stain on the wall behind him and understood what might have happened.

I quickly scooped up Bakugo, tying my scarf around his wounds. I ran back out the room and shouted, "Someone call Principal Nezu! Tell him to meet me at XXXX Hospital!"

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Bakugo pov

"Come with me. Recovery Girl wants to see you."

I frowned, knowing that I had already seen too many doctors to count. But I followed him, not wanting to get a detention. We walked all the way to the main part of campus to Recovery Girl's office.

There, she was waiting for me, a clipboard in hand. She looked disappointed, sad almost. I knew that I'd done something wrong. I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to swallow back the little bit of anxiety growing in my gut.

"I'm not happy to see you back here, young man." She glared at me from behind her glasses and then over at Aizawa-Sensei. The poor guy looked as though he had just seen death itself.

"From what I saw at the hospital, you have endured a severe concussion, have lost a good amount of blood, and are malnourished once again."

She shook her head and said, "You are lucky to be alive. Had you continued your nightmarish self injuring, you may have been dead already." She looked at my hair and I knew that she was eyeing the stitches. I tried to turn my face away, trying to hide my mild embarrassment.

I felt a sharp jab in my side and I quickly looked to see what it was. She had her walking stick jabbed in my side, right between my ribs. "If I can get between your ribs, then you are not healthy. As far as I have seen, you have an eating disorder prompted by some sort of extreme trauma. You are a sick child and it is my duty to take care of you."

I shook my head and snarled, "I am not sick! I am just fine!" I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and turned around. Aizawa-Sensei calmly said, "Bakugo, it is okay to be sick sometimes. Just not for a long time. We are trying to help you."

I shook my head, frightened by their assumptions. "I AM NOT SICK!" I felt my stomach growl in protest, begging for food again. It had been so long since I had eaten a proper meal. Since I went to bed with a full stomach.

I thought back to the month prior, when I was back in that pit of despair. When I could hardly breathe without feeling disgusting.

I never wanted to eat, but if I did, it didn't always stay down. It made me feel so disgusting, yet I felt like I didn't deserve to eat either.

I was woken up from my thoughts by a wetness on my cheeks. Tears. Again. How much had I cried in the last two months?

I shakily breathed out and said, "Maybe I am sick. What kind of hero would that make me?" Recovery Girl sighed and said, "You can still be a strong young man and a hero but only if you let me help you. We are giving you the choice."

Aizawa-Sensei chimed in, "Either you do the woman's eating program or your body deteriorates and you cannot be a hero. Which do you choose?"

It all felt too familiar, like I had done this many times before. But I knew that this time, I had to choose what was best for me.

Quietly, I muttered, "I'll do your program or whatever." I heard the two of them sigh in relief. "Well let's get started then. Since eating disorders are common in your age range, I am quite prepared for this."

She hobbled off to a seperate room and shouted, "Zachary, where are you at? I need you to help me with the N&MP program!" A strange guy popped his head from behind the door behind us and he quietly sneaked in.

"I'm in here Recovery Girl." This Zachary looked younger than he seemed to be. He was tall and very muscular, a hero maybe.

He had dark brown hair with a slightly lighter streak of purple, all of which was tied in a high bun. He wore something similar to a hero costume, though I had never seen him before. Baggy pants, a tight shirt, and some elbow length black gloves.

He reached up on a shelf and I was met with that stupid feeding tube again. I shuddered, remembering the last time I had one of those.

"Okay, let's get this over with."

(So Zachary is my OC who I have as Recovery Girl's assistant. The next chapter will go into detail of who Zachary is and just all about him. It wont be about the main story so you dont have to read it if you dont want to.)