Crown of a Prince (Finn Shelby)

18.

A family meeting was called, the first one since the arrest of the family at Tommy's two years previous. And Ailbhe couldn't help but feel a strange sense of déja vu as they all gathered around the table of the their old home. When Ailbhe stepped in out of the cold she looked around at who was already there.

Arthur sat with Linda, her arm around his. Niall and Liam had already taken their seats at the table. Lizzie and Ada sat at the table in their black dresses, having dug them out to mourn John. After Grace they had hoped that would have been the end of burying people before their time but life was cruel and they had pulled the dresses out again. Ailbhe's barely fit anymore and had borrowed an old skirt of Ada's but it was too long and had to be hemmed. But she had been glad to sit in the quiet and immerse herself in something. She could forget about it for a while and let her mind go quiet but the flood of memories with John broke through her mental dam eventually and Liam had found her sobbing by the fire clutching the skirt in her fists.

Charlie, Johnny Dogs, Jeremiah and Isiah stood behind them leaning against the walls and dresser. Nobody spoke. 

Ailbhe was last to arrive except for Tommy. One of Tommy's young peaky boys had come to walk her to the meeting, avoiding her eyes and stammering when he told her he was sorry about her loss. She hadn't replied, keeping her eyes low and nodding and passing him out so she could walk a few steps in front of him hoping he wouldn't try to speak to her. She had to squeeze past Finn who stood near the doorway, waiting for Tommy. She made herself small, wrapping her arms around herself. She avoided their eyes as she sat beside Ada who reached out and laid a hand on her arm comfortingly.

Finn poured a whiskey, setting it down in front of Ailbhe just like he had done for everyone else but she left it untouched. He poured one for the one man missing and pushed it to the head of the table where they waited for him. Finn sat in the only empty chair, next to Arthur and directly across from Ailbhe.

She was quiet and pale. Her fists were clenched and Finn could see the telltale signs of exhaustion on her face. She had applied make-up over it but he saw through the mask. She was exhausted. She was heartbroken. She was so lonely she wanted to get on the first train back to London where she could get lost in the noise. It was so loud there she couldn't even feel the loneliness that had been keeping her awake since she stepped foot back in Small Heath. It felt empty without her family, her real family who loved each other in the only way they could. Even if that way was unorthodox and volatile.

They sat in silence until Tommy joined them, standing at the top of the table.

"John is dead" he declared, although everyone in the room already knew this. 

They knew John wouldn't ever arrive late to the meetings with his usual swagger or jump up on a stool to announce the latest success at the races. He wouldn't ever be caught kissing Esme at a function and scolded by Tomy. He wouldn't ever mock Finn about his infatuation with Ailbhe or tug at Ailbhe's hair with a grin because he knew how much it annoyed her. 

He paused, letting it sink in with everyone but the truth was a hard pill to swallow. Ailbhe noticed Arthur's shaking breath but he steadied himself again.

"Esme has gone on the road with the Lees, she's taken the kids" Tommy told them.

Ailbhe knew this. She had gone to see Esme before they left. Tommy had allowed her to go, so long as she promised to take two Peaky boys with her and not go out of their sight. Esme had packed up their house and gathered her family to leave. She looked heartbroken, her eyes sad and lonely when she held Ailbhe one last time.

"He's gone and I can't feel him in the air around me anymore. He's really gone" she had whispered, her eyes dry since she had cried all the tears she had.