Crown of a Prince (Finn Shelby)

32.

Ada put out fresh clothes for Ailbhe as she showered and tried to wash the blood and memories of the day away. The dried blood turned liquid again under the hot water and slid off her skin, pooling at her feet until it washed away. Once the water started running clear and she knew the blood was gone she stood there for a while, under the hot water and gathered her thoughts. She was alone for the first time since it had happened. She thought about how her mind had raced when she thought she was going to die, how her thoughts went to her family and Finn, how she had been so angry at him before but now she felt it no more. She dressed in the bathroom, pulling on a silk and lace set of underwear that Ada had fetched for her and a robe. Ada had told her to go straight to bed, in Arthur's old room where she usually slept when she stayed over.

She braided her hair in the mirror, looking at herself and taking stock of her injuries from the day. After showering, she was left with red marks and scrapes around her neck, bruises of where his hands had gripped her wrists. But the day had left a mark on her even without the physical aspect. In a way, she was glad to hear what Finn and her brothers had done to Benito. She waited for the guilt to wash over her, the reminder that killing someone the way they had killed Benito was wrong, but it never came. Sometimes, death really was a kindness like Tommy swore it was.

She was exhausted. The events of the day had taken its toll on her and all she wanted was some sleep but she felt too wired to sleep, too worked up. But she would have to try. She had no desire to leave the house, to go out into the streets where the stories about her brush with death was likely to be doing the rounds. She didn't want to go out, only to be stared at and watched, keen eyes watching her and looking for a chink in her armour, a bruise on her skin. She wanted to feel safe for a little while, but she wasn't sure where that meant.

She pushed open the bedroom door, grateful Ada had gone in to light a lamp and to dress the bed for her. But she had expected the room to be empty. It was not.

Finn sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her. He stood as soon as she entered, looking at her and feeling better in knowing that she looked more like herself. And yet she looked exhausted. She looked quite small and vulnerable, her bare legs and small frame wrapped in a robe reminded him that underneath it all, underneath all the wise cracks and the cool smiles, she was just a girl.

"I'll leave right now if you want me to, I just wanted to see you... see if you're really alright"

He spoke quickly and his words ran into each other as he reasoned his presence. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her or push her but he wanted to know for himself if she really was alright. He didn't fully trust the way she had acted downstairs. He knew she'd be brave and tough in front of her brothers, not wanting Liam or Tom to feel responsible. But, she couldn't hide in front of him, she never could.

She expected to feel uncomfortable, to want him to leave but she found herself wanting the opposite.

"Don't leave" she whispered, shaking her head.

She stepped towards him, not used to feeling this nervous energy between them in the air. She went to the edge of the bed, pulling off her robe and climbing between the sheets. He stood near the side of the bed, just watching her and not sure what to say or do yet. He wanted to hold her, to pull her into his arms and kiss every tear away and tell her that nobody would ever lay a finger on her again if they wanted to keep their fingers from being cut off.

But he didn't want to spook her, to push her too far when she might not want to be touched at all. Ada had told him she might need her space, might not want him near her.

She lay into her bed, on her side tucking her arm under her head so she could lie on her elbow and face him. He just watched her, the steady rise and fall of her chest and how she fidgeted a little nervously.