50 Reasons To Live.

Day 2 (Part I)

     I was up before my alarm rang, I was always up before the dang thing rang.

         Grabbing an old plush robe I slip my hands into it and quickly belted it, walking softly to the living room and accessing the situation.

       Sighing I make my way towards the couch, it didn't matter if it was pitch black I was so used to this house that I could always find my way around.

      Getting to the couch, I squat and stare at her letting out a sigh, things weren't always like this, the alcohol, the beatings and bruises, the insults and bitterness, they weren't always there..or is it here?

     Tapping her she mumbles something inaudible and raises her arm and my instincts immediately kicks in and I flinch before I notice that she was merely stretching.

       I tap her again lightly and there's a sigh, "James is that you?" She calls out and I swallow the knot in my throat. "Let's get you to bed." I say "Carry me." She murmurs and I give a short sad laugh; the only ones I know how to give.

     "I thought you're an independent woman." I say dryly, repeating the same line like I always do.

     "Of course I am." She says in a childish tone. "Prove it then, give me your arm and I'll walk you to the room." I say and she places her arms in mine and I lift her up and lead her to her room, where I tuck her in and walk towards the door.

       "No love me?" She asks and I smile "I love you Ashley." I say and there's a dreamy sigh "I love you too James." She replies as I leave the room and lock the door.

        Sitting down on the floor I rub my face wondering how long I can handle it without cracking, fifty days was to long to wait I think as I start tidying up.

        I was sweeping under the couch when I found it, a slim shard of glass that probably came from one out of several broken bottles.

     Picking it up I twist it around looking at the edges as my hands stray to my wrists and rub my last slash.

     Closing my eyes I drag the glass around the same spot feeling my skin break and I welcome the pain. Rummaging through the couch I find a packet of cigarettes and a lighter and I take out one.

      "Forgive me." I mutter as I light it and take a long drag, I cough a bit as I exhale and I chuckle, it's been way too long old friend I think as I inhale again and get back to clearing up disregarding my bleeding wrist or the glass in my pocket.

         When I'm done I go back to my room and pick out my clothes for the day before I head to the bathroom and turn on the shower before I sit down in the bathtub and let the water rush over me before it turns crimson from my blood.

       I stay there for a long time till I'm ready to face the world and head back to my room to prepare for the day ahead. Forty eight days and this nightmare will finally be over, I think as I wear my long sleeved shirt and throwing on my tee shirt and grab my things before walking out.

         Preparing breakfast quietly I eat mine the leave hers in the microwave before leaving her a note and stepping out.
     
        "River!" someone calls out and I stop in my tracks turning around to see Sebastian waiting by his car and I turn around and walk towards him.

       "Where are you going?" He asks and I shrug "School, you know the place where people are forced to go to so they can have a better future?" I ask and he nods "Yeah I've heard of it." He says and I fold my arm.

        "Soooo?" I ask and he raises a brow "What?" He asks and I sigh "Why'd you call me here?" I ask and he smiles "Day two of fifty. Get in." He says and I sigh "Aye aye captain." I say moving to the passenger side and getting in.

     "You're awfully quiet today." He says and I shrug "Last I heard people like me kept their mouths shut and minded their business." I say looking out the window and he sighs "I'm sorry about what I said but you were being stereotypical." He says and I raise a brow "Was I?" I ask and he nods "You know you were." He replies.

        "Do I?" I question and he turns to stare at me "You can be really furstrating at times, do you know that?" He asks and I smile "Mission accomplished." I say and he laughs.

       "You're so different from how I imagined you, and you should smile more." He says and I wrinkle my nose. "Bottom line is that I'm sorry about my temper yesterday." He says and I shrug

     "Well I kinda of furstrated you so I forgive you." I say and he laughs "Who knew that you'd be so forgiving." He says with a hint of sarcasm and I smirk "Apart from being a ghost I'm also a forgiving spirit." I say which makes him laugh some more.

       "Still remember where I'm dropping off?" I ask and he nods, "Yeah I remember." he says and I close my eyes relaxing, they're very few chances for me to do so, so I take whatever chances I get to do so.

      Sebastian fiddles with the radio, switching it from different channels, "Leave it here." I say without opening my eyes when I hear a song I like playing. "You listen to Mumford and Sons?" He asks and I hum in reply and he chuckles, "You're just full of surprises." He says and we continue the drive in peaceful silence.

        "Riv." He calls and my eyes snap open "Thanks for the ride." I say unbuckling my seatbelt and stepping out "Wait a sec." He says searching his bag and handing me an envelope.

       "See you later Cupcake, I'll text you about day two yeah?" He says before driving off and I star at the envelope in my hands before opening it as I start walking.

      It's content is a simple Polaroid picture of me in his shirt laughing about the fact that he straightens his hair.

     I look closely at the picture,my smile looks so real like before, you could see it in my eyes, I rarely smile like that anymore.

         Underneath the picture in perfect block letters are the words turn over. And when I do I see in Sebastian's perfect handwriting; Number one reason why River should live; for moments like this at the beach.