50 Reasons To Live.

Day 5 [Part I]

   "Are you feeling better now?" Ashley asks placing the back of her hand on my forehead and I nod.

    "Better now but I'm not going to school till Monday." I answer as I add more sugar to my coffee.

"That's alright, it's already the weekend." She says as she puts away her dishes, "I'm going to work now, I might be home late. Today's girls night out." She says grinning instead I frown

    "Ash.." I begin and she sighs moving over to me and hugging me from behind taking care not to hurt me

"I know, I know, I won't drink with them, I'll go out just for the fun of it and drink cokes and sprites." She says and I shake my head

  "You always say that," I begin "but every time you can back more wasted than ever and this happens." I say moving my sleeves up so she could see the still fading bruises.

" You can't be trying to quit alcoholism and go bar hopping on Fridays with the girls. It's like walking to the slaughter."

"It helps me forget." She whispers and I sigh, helps to forget what happened on a Friday night..

   "Go. But I won't be home to clean up after you this time, or to be turned into a punching bag or take your aggression. Not today." I state and she nods.

     "I understand and that's fine, but I need to know how to reach you incase anything happens."

"I'll be at a friend's place."

"A friend huh? Like the one that I saw yesterday, the guy with the Audi." She teases wriggling her brow and I laugh

"He's just a friend that's helping me out." I defend

"With what?" She challenges knowing that I can't say anything she'll believe.

"Don't you have to go to work?" I ask and she tsks as she slips on her heels and brushes her hair once more.

"I like him." She suddenly says and I turn to face her, brows raised.

"He seems like the protective and reliable type. Like James. I'm sure James would've liked him too." She continues as she wears her coat.

  " This is the first time you've mentioned dad without being drunk or using the term he." I point out after we've spent time being silent.

  "Because I'm getting help now Riv, if I truly want to be a mother that you can be proud of, I need to. I saw the way your friends looked at me when I came in yesterday. They know don't they?" She asks and I nod.

    "I'm sorry." I murmur and she shakes her head as she comes towards me placing a kiss on my forehead.

  "You didn't do anything wrong Riv, you've never done anything wrong." She said in an assuring tone.

   "I've got to go now, so I'll see you tomorrow right?" She asks and I nodded, I was honestly not expecting her to say she was no longer going for girls night.

     It was enough that she could say his name sober. Baby steps..

      Finishing up my coffee, I pack up my plates, quickly washing them and leaving them to dry.

Since I wasn't going to school, I had lots of time to spend doing nothing.. absolutely nothing.

     The only reason I didn't want to go to school was simply because people knew me now and I don't know how to handle being noticed, the states and glares that followed because there were lots of girls that I've pissed off by dancing with Sebastian at the club.

    After reading a comic strip, playing games on my phone, I look up at the clock. There was still enough time for me to change my clothes and get ready for school and still have enough time before the late bell rings.

    Wearing a long sleeve turtle neck shirt, I throw on a v neck sweater and go in search of my trousers, when I can't find any I angrily grab my fishnet pantyhose and wear it with a short plaid skirt that Elle bought as a gift.

    When I'm done styling my hair, I start the battle of lining my eyes. Show no fear, I murmur because every girl knows that eyeliner senses fear.

Once I'm done with that, I wear my shoes and grab my keys before texting Ashley that I went to school.

   I hear a knock and I look up at the clock as I head downstairs, it was probably Sebastian, it was already close to the time that he picked me up.

   "Hold on, don't pull the door down." I tell when the knocking becomes louder.

Opening the door I pause looking at who's standing by the doorway and my breath hitches.

  "Don't you look so pretty Ocean. So normal..." the person that's not Sebastian says and I swallow.

"R-river.. my n-name's River." I correct hating how I stutter.

   "No . you're too much to be a simple river my dear. You're an ocean." He says smiling "Aren't you going to let me in?"

"What are you doing here?" I ask finally getting my voice steady.

"Is that how to greet an old friend?"

"You're not my friend."

"Does that mean I won't be invited for coffee?" He asks and we both stare at ourselves.

"Pity..." He begins but I don't let him continue before stepping back, and before he could react, I slammed the door shut, turning all the locks.

   "Really Riv? This is how you want us to do it?" He shouts as he starts kicking the door.

   With every hit, I feel my heartbeat race, get it together River, except you're ready to face that maniac we've got to leave here not have a panic attack!! The voice in my head screams and I manage to get a bit of composure.

    Running back upstairs to my room, I lock the door and try to think of a way to get out of here.

   Opening my window I check how high, it is from the ground...I had done this before, but I wasn't sure if I could make it because of how bad I was shaking with fear.

    Hearing a gun shot, I know that he's shot off the door lock and the door slam that follows is a confirmation.

      His footsteps got closer, and I could hear doors slam. Looking out through my window again, the vision is quite blurry and I struggle to dry my eyes, there was no time to cry.

    The footsteps stop by my door and the handle is turned.

  "As much as I love the chase, it's getting tiring and it's pissing me off. Open up or I'll shoot the door off and I won't be fun to play with when I eventually get you." He threatens and I move back to stand by my window.

     He was going to blow the door off, I knew he was. He always meant whatever he said.

    The door handle turns again and I climb the windowsill trying to steady myself enough to land well.

     Three gunshots sound before the door gets kicked down. Timing, it was all about, if I jumped now he would have enough time to come after me. If I jump when he's gotten near my bed, he'll be forced down to chase me, he wouldn't jump after me, his phobia of high places won't let him.

    "I see what you're doing, trying to use heights against me, guess I taught you well." He says clapping

    "But I don't have to chase you before I kill you, before I end your useless life. I could just kill you hear, a bullet to the head and do you and the world a favour. No one will miss you. You know that right?" He taunts and I struggle to keep a clear vision.

    "Maybe I'll do it now,help you do what you've never had the guts to do." He says cocking his gun.

  I can die any other way but not at the hands of this psycho...I refuse to...I think and the moment he aims the gun at me I jump.

   "Nooooo!! River!!"  He screams but as I'm falling his voice suddenly starts morphing into Sebastian's voice and then I blackout.