"We'll redo day four and five again. They didn't count." Sebastian says as we enter my house and I nod looking around. Wasn't this place supposed to be thrashed like Sebastian said? I think looking around.
"I had someone come clean here up." He explains and I nod sitting down and taking off my shoes.
"So you want two days extra?" I ask turning to look at him and he nods
"It's fair, I bargained for fifty days not forty-eight." He reminds me and I sigh.
"Anything else Vettel?" I finally concede and he nods slowly before speaking
"I need to know exactly what is going on with you River so I'll know how exactly I can help you." He states and I raise a brow.
"Asides from the schizophrenia?" I ask and he glares at me
"Yes Riveria, asides from the schizophrenia."
"I don't want to. Thinking about it makes my head hurt."
"Can I ask you questions then?"
"Maybe."
"River..."
"Fine. Ask away then."
"Thank you. So when exactly did it start?"
"Did what start?" I ask searching my bag for a lighter.
"Wanting to die. Suicidal thoughts."
"Oh those, I don't know. They've always been there." I say lighting my cigarette ignoring his glares.
"I don't know how to do this." He mutters looking up at me
"Do what?"
"Psychoanalysis. I don't know what to ask."
"Then don't.'
"How then am I supposed to know how to help you?'
I look up at him and he reverts his gaze and I turn to stare at what he's looking at.
It was a picture of me dressed as the black swan at one of my recitals, when I used to dance, Ashley always displayed it wherever we lived. Said it gave her hope. The same words Sebastian had written on my hand.
"Who are you Riveria?" He whispers and I shrug.
"I don't know Vettel. Not sure I've ever known. Tell me something, why's helping me so important to you. Before we met I've just been another face among the crowd, so why does it feel like you've made it personal?" I ask turning to face him.
"You've never been just another face in the crowd Riv. Yes we didn't talk but I noticed you, Elle said you had social anxiety." He begins looking at me
" So I didn't bother, but I noticed you, and when I met you trying to kill yourself, I knew that I couldn't let you go just like that. You've never been just another face Riv." He finishes rubbing his face.
"Everyone's trying to be seen but if I catch the right sub no one will ever see me again." I mutter and he raises a brow
"Jumping off was the right sub?"
"Don't start now Vettel."
"I was teasing Riv."
"Didn't seem like."
"Who were you before?" He asks and I shrug
"Even at least you don't who you are now, you should at least know who you were." He pushes and I sigh.
I look at him, sitting in my old living room couch, his tousled hair blocking part of his face, I reach out and push it away.
"Let me in Riv, let me help you." He pleads and looking into his deep brown eyes I sigh turning away before I got to the point of no return.
"Please.." he begins but I cut him off placing my lips on his.
His lips are soft, and leave mine on his for some time doing nothing before I start moving away but his hands snakes around me holding me to him.
"Not so fast Cupcake." He murmurs, before he starts kissing me back.
He pulls me closer to him, his finger drawing circles on my back causing little shivers. Moving a hand he grabs my face as his lips brushes softly against mine tasting me. My bottom lip is pulled into his and I release a soft moan parting my lips to give him access and his tongue sweeps inside.
"Fuck Riv," he murmurs as he moves his tongue against mine, biting and sucking on my bottom lip before licking it, The rumours were definitely true, Sebastian Vettel is a veeeerrrrryyyyyy good kisser. His mouth explores mine for what seems to be hours before I break the kiss.
I try to move away but he holds me close not saying anything, honestly even I couldn't speak.
"So.." he begins his voice hoarse, and I look up at him, "what was that about?" He finishes and as I move back ,he slowly releases me.
"You asked who I was. I showed you." I say my voice barely above a whisper as I get up from the couch and move to shelf.
"I don't understand Riv."
"That was me. Making out with everyone willing to on my dad's couch, in the school toilet. In my dad's car." I answer as I pickup the car model before handing it to him.
"What's this?"
"Look closely, you look like a guy that knows his sports." I tease and he turns it around in his hand before he realises it.
"Shit Riv, this is a Haven custom designed Ferrari Monza model." He says and I nod.
"My dad's pride and joy." I reply smiling at the fond memories.
"Wait, your dad's Ronnie Haven?" He asks and I nod moving back to sit down.
"Yeah he was my dad, surprised right. Sometimes I'm surprised too." I answer turning back to look at him.
"Why am I just knowing about it?"
"Because you didn't bother to ask. If you didn't see me trying to jump, you won't be sitting here on my couch."
" So you were a wild one eh?" He asks and I shrug
"More than I should. It cost me a lot."
"So you decided to be a ghost then?"
"It's better than loosing any other person."
"You mean Ashley?"
"She's all I have left."
"She's abusing you."
"She's an alcoholic."
"You were telling me about what being wild cost you?"
"I don't like talking about it.."
"Please Riv.."
"It cost me my father."
YOU ARE READING
50 Reasons To Live.
Romance"Fifty. I'll give you fifty reasons and if it's not enough I'll push you off myself." he says as I dangle my leg from the ledge. "Fifty." *** *** *** After being stopped from committing felo de se by he...
