Rebel Heart [#1]

THIRTY-SEVEN - The result

M  E  L 

I am lost. I have never felt so hopeless in my life.

With only a couple of days to go to the doctor, Shane convinced me to wait until today and be sure through the appointment.

Pretending it isn't happening. it's harder than I thought, though.

After gathering enough courage, I finally leave the bed I have been living in for two whole days to take a shower. By the time I am ready and arrive in the kitchen, breakfast is laid out on the table while Shane pours tea into a mug for me.

"How are you feeling today?" He asks, giving me the mug.

"Nervous. Going there today will make it real, " I mutter before drinking a little bit.

I have been better from nausea, but the anxiety has been eating me alive.

I sit down, and Shane stays right next to me, keeping me silent and comfortable company. This boy has a lot of flaws, but his loyalty is not one of them. He could have been enraged by this situation, not being able to look at me...

But no, not Shane. And I know that he'd be willing to go through every single step of it with me. All I have to do is ask him.

But I wouldn't. I won't. It's not fair to him.

I will have to do this alone. But today, I will enjoy his comfort and support.

Soon, we leave, with Shane driving me there. The cityscape turns into moving shadows due to the speed of the vehicle.

The places I usually look at with so much awe seem dull now. The city doesn't look as bright as it does normally, and I know it's not the lack of light in it, but the lack of light in my eyes. If I could go back in time, I...

I should have stayed away during the winter as well. To avoid being in this situation, in this pain.

Once at the doctor, the wait is not long.

"Corte-Real?" My doctor calls, and we both stand up.

"Hi," I greet her.

"Thank you for calling yesterday and telling me your suspicions." She opens the door and guides us inside. "I'll take care of discarding or confirming it first and foremost. Then, we'll see the course to take. Yeah?"

"Sure," I answer.

Following her instructions, I get naked from the waist down, behind a folding screen, for some privacy. And then cover myself with a blanket before hopping on the lying table.

That is when panic strikes me, with my throat clogging up. I can't do this.

"Hey," he calls, holding my hand and squeezing it. "I'm here."

His weak smile is enough to ease my mind, giving me a tiny sense of bravery. When I finally nod, he nods back but still not letting go of my hand.

"What's the gentleman's name?" My doctor asks as she puts her gloves on.

"Shane Hernandez."

"You're the father then, yes?" The question is innocent, but it is enough to make my heart drop at my feet.

Just as I am about to shake my head negatively to tell her no, Shane freezes me to the spot by answering, "Yes." He smiles nonchalantly.

Oh, my fucking... What is he thinking?

"Shane..." I whisper for him to look at me.

"Shush, I know," he whispers back just as she turns around to grab the ultrasound wand. "We know the truth that's what matters," He mumbles before kissing my forehead.